adik....15 Months...

Adik has grown so much....she is learning alot from her active brother.....alhamdullilah, so far, mothering her has been a joy since the day she was born.....

She loves to play, bath, eat ....she loves birds, cats, dogs, ducks....she loves to swim!!! cool baby!

Adik @15 MTHS....

Love you Baby!!!

Adik's 1st Birthday...

Time flies doesn't it.....?,

I remember being pregnant for the 3rd time in my life (the 2nd was a miscarriage), finding out the baby in me was a girl and went absolutely happy and thankful.

I remember going through 9 months of morning sickness.

I remember clearly the time hubby took me to East Shore Hospital the day I delivered Adik, it was a Wednesday night on the 10th day of the month, after Magrib.....

I remember cleaning her first poop together with Hubby and Alice at the hospital, something which I was scared to do. heh.

I remember caring for Adik during confinement days on my own while Mak cared for Abang,...

I remember having Post Natal Depression...and fighting it.

I remember caring for her when she had her first fever, first diarrhoea, first cough and cold.

I remember feeding her milk non stop till I really felt as if I was 'mother moo'.

I remember cooking her first porridge, feeding her meals, and eating my own meals with her on my lap because there were times when no one else was free enough to care for her.

I remember bringing her for her operation, just days before her birthday.

And now, Adik is already 1 year old. Masya'Allah.

Going through the memories, of caring for this little child, I have nothing but fond memories of it. Alhamdullilah, Adik has been such an easy baby to take care of. Most probably, God knows my strength, that I was gonna take care of this baby without much help, so HE made it easy for me.

For Adik's first birthday, because the people around us were busy, and we had just spent some of our savings for the December holiday activities, we decided not to hold a big celebration like when it was Abang's time.

No fancy number 1 shape cake, no invitations for the guest, no birthday songs. This time, again, Mak made her signature Pulut Kuning, (something she makes when she is thankful for something).

Since Adik's birthday fell on a thursday Night, the night where the men at Masjid Abdul Razak read Maulid, Tahlil and Doa Selamat, we sent the Pulut Kuning and some food to the mosque and gave Adik's name to the Imam to read during the Doa Selamat.
Alhamdullilah, Hubby attended the event and he told me the Imam read Adik's name and made prayers for her to have good health and to grow up as a solehah. Amiin.



Thank you Mak for making this pulut for your little grand daughter. It looks and taste very delicious. Well done!

The men at the mosque were so delighted to feast on the pulut kuning. Its not everyday that they get Pulut after the doa selamat. They even read Pantuns first before feasting on the pulut. Everyone was happy and ultimately, thats what hubby and me want.

* Thanks also to hubby's siblings who bought an ice-cream cake, some clothes and some stuff bears for Adik. The mini gathering and cake cutting at Nani's house which was not planned at all was a wonderful surprise.

Alhamdullilah.

Alhamdullilah!

Alhamdullilah, Adik was operated yesterday Monday at 8am, Mount Elizabeth Hospital by Dr Chui Chan Hon.
The surgery took slightly longer than expected as there were complications but with Allah's (swt) Mercy, the Dr managed to fix the problem and Adik is Hernia Free now.
Dr Chui said we were lucky to bring her to the hospital on time else she might have lost her overies. SubahanAllah.

Thanks to cuzin Id and good friend Ummu Mukhtaar who took a look at the hernia area and alerted me not to take this lightly.
Alhamdullilah.

I must say, Adik was scared, but all she did was whimper quietly and hugged her smelly pillow. Oh that smelly pillow is useful in times of need I tell ya.... and she cringed her face and made sure either me or hubby hold her thighly.

When we entered the op teater, the bed was a small one. So cute. The DR blew bubbles while the anesthetists put the small gas mask on her to get her to fall asleep for the op. It was rather fast as she was asleep within 3 breath and I was also feeling calm.
No crying like I imagined I would. Hubby and me went for breakfast than we waited patiently at the lounge during the 1 hour 15mins op.

After the op, Adik was put on observation in the Day Surgery ward, where she slept and drink BM till she was fit to go home. Good Girl.

I couldn't be more thankful.

Syukran Jazillan for all the Duas whoever you are. * SMILE*

Eid Adhar 1430

Our Eid celebrations were minimal.

We were trying our best to make Adik feel more comfortable.
The Hernia seems worse these days while waiting for the operation. Its like, the moment we knew its Hernia, the more swollen her abdomens became.

Maybe its the cough that aggravated the Hernia. Hubby and me have been trying our best to care for her ourselves. We promised to put effort in getting her cured and we Tawakkal to Allah and seek His help.
The kids looking at the sheep.
We brought the kids to see the sheep at Masjid Darul Aman and Masjid Alkaff. Abang was fascinated to see the sheep.

Hubby and Adik sitting opposite Habib.

We visited Habib Abbas to get air doa for Adik's and we seek his Dua for her. With the Blessings of a Pious man, we hoped Allah (swt) will heal our daughter's sickness. Amiin.

Adik needs to go for Surgery.

My heart feels heavy.....

We found out 2 days back that Adik has Hernia and she has to go for surgery.

The surgery date is fixed for next week and Adik needs to be put to sleep under the general anesthetic for the 1 hour operation.
We hope, she can go back on the same day as the DR says that if all goes well, it will only be a day surgery and after 4 hours of observation, we can bring her back.

During the check at clinic, Adik was crying so much as she was very scared. She only wanted to cling on to me. Thus, I can imagine how things will be like the moments before she goes in for surgery. She is also required to fast a few hours before the surgery, so Im really lost on what I should do should she wants her milk. What the nurse advise me was to feed her a very full meal at night, and last milk at 2am.

I've done loads of research on Hernia for babies yesterday and I wished I was more observant and concern about that swelling that she has at her abdomens area on and off since a few months back. I did touch the swelling a few times when she had it but since she didnt cry, and since the swelling will go off after a while, I just let it go....until we saw a really big one some nights ago that we decided we should really get it checked.

But these things r planned and Allah (swt) is the best of Planners and if the surgery needs to be next week, it shall be.

The Positive side to this is that Dr Chui is an experienced surgeon and he said that he has done a hernia surgery on girls many times. The risks are low and recovery takes about 7 days. There is only a 1 in 1000 chance of any re-occurrence and thank GOD we have medical insurance for Adik.

I wish, I could take her place, as a mother, I wish my daughter dont have to go through this pain. But I also know that Allah (swt) is All Merciful, thus, I am clinging on my faith that this is a test for us and Insya'Allah, our family will get through this. This is only make us stronger. Insya'Allah.

Meantime, Adik is down with high fever and a bad cough. With crying and cough, her Hernia gets worse cos her abdomens are strained. We just hope that within the few days we have till surgery date, she will not be in any kind of danger from the hernia because if the hernia gets stuck and the swelling cannot go down, than there is danger.

For any readers who happen to pass by my blog, do read a prayer for my doll face little baby Asyura. Barely 1 year old, a bubbly and sweet baby is sick.



She cried herself to sleep last night something that she has never done before.

Last week, she wore this dress for the first time and looked like a big girl already.

Ummi love you my baby. My hands will be holding yours...lets be strong together.

Habib Umar@ Masjid Abdul Razak

When Adik Met Habib Umar.

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The weekend had passed, and its been a spiritual weekend indeed.
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Hubby met so many Alims, namely Shaykh Afeefudin Al Jalilani who gave khutbah at Masjid Mydin, the Habib Umar Bin Hafiz entourage, and also our Shaykhs from America.
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Alhamdullilah, I had prayed for at least Adik to meet Habib Umar this year since Abang had met him last year.
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I managed to tag along with the hubster to one for Habib Umar's tazkirah at Masjid Abdul Razak early Saturday morning when the crowd had not build up yet.
Abang was sick, so he was left at mum's place. I'm sure he would have loved to be there. I was happy to be at my favourite mosque too, from where I sat, I could see Al Habib clearly.
I wished and I prayed that Habib Umar bin Hafiz could visit Singapore more often.
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After prayers, the jemaah read Wiridul Latiff, than Habib Umar gave a short Tazkirah and finished off with a Doa.
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He said that listening to syarahan's is a personal reminder to every individual even to himself.
Habib said that when we listen to religious talk, we must feel that the advise is for us. That means we have Iman.
We cannot say that the advise is for other people and not for us because each syarahan is for everyone.
People who are far from Allah (swt) will say that those advise are not for them.
Allah (swt) berfirman : Berilah peringatan kerana setiap peringatan itu manfaat pada orang-orang Mukmin.
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Habib Umar shared many other stories with us too....
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After the tazkirah ended and all the men had salaam Habib, hubby carried our little princess to meet Habib Umar who was sitting down in front of the mimbar. It was really relaxed cos not many men were around Habib, so Adik got some doa from Habib Umar and also Hubby managed to snap a picture of them together while Habib Umar carried her.
If I'm not mistaken, I saw Habib Umar kissed her cheeks as well..
Alhamdullilah..May Adik grows up to be a solehah dan suka berdamping dengan orang orang Alim... Insya'allah.
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Later outside he mosque, I managed to see many other Shaykhs and Ulama'.
Shaykh Yahya Rhodus and Shaykh Khalil Moore was also there.
Infact, Shaykh Khalil was just a few meters away from me. I wanted to talk to him..I wanted to say "Oh I have you as my Facebook friend!"..hah...but I didn't think it was appropriate for a me and him to talk without my hubby around. It would not have seemed nice with so many men around....
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To Be continued.

Semi Solids@4 months

Apple and Banana Puree

At 4 months, my little princess is ready for semi-solids

so I home made some apple-banana purees for her.

So far, Alhamdullilah, she is taking it rather well, a few spoonfuls each time....

no preservatives, just natural nutrients and a whole lotta love from Ummi! ; )

Its the March week school holidays...
Little Habib's school had a term end party...
we contributed cream puffs....

It is also my last week of work.
While my partner 'lycc' has gotten some job offers and went for several interviews,
It is still nothing for me....
As much as I want to burst out and cry,
I also know that everything happens for a reason.
Allah knows best and Allah is all Merciful.

I guess, I will look after the kids for awhile, while continuing my job hunt....
Insya'Allah.. something will come...
Tawakkal and place my trust in Allah (swt).

Mak has been busy lately, and things will be busy till July
We're moving! and after that, my brother will be getting married.
So its maybe best that I can be around to look after the kids while Mak concentrate on the new house and the wedding preparations.

We brought our active todler to Science Centre yesterday..
drove all the way to Jurong....
alhamdullilah, despite getting lost, we managed to find it... quite easy to find the place if we didnt make that wrong left turn!

It wasn't me who's interested in all these science stuff...
But hubby seems to be over the top with all these science fiction stuff and wants our son to inherit his love for science...
Little Habib did not understand most of the exibits, but I can tell he enjoyed the Omnimax show, and any exibits with current, fire, water and electricity.
Well, I sacrificed a 3 hour trip in the Science Centre...
now I'm hoping hubby would sacrifice his time and $$ to date me for a theater show call CATS!



Brother hugging sister who is clearly uncomfortable... hee...

Brother watching the water park at the Science Centre..next time, we'll bring extra clothes so that brother can play at the water fountain.

Adik smiling alot at 3 months old... she really makes me and hubby happy..Alhamdullilah.

Looking back at 2008, It did seem to be a year full of tests for me,
what with the miscarriage, and the 9 months of morning sickness, then came the bad news of losing my job....
I could have easily lost my faith and go nonchalant on my Iman and walk away, in which Alhamdullilah I have not....

so when a friend changed her lifestyle and told me religion is no longer important to her due to some incident which happened in her life, I literally broke down........... cos of all the people that I know, I didn't expect it to come from her...

I pondered for awhile what should I do to this friend, someone whom once I considered my best pal when it comes to attending religious functions of the Ulama's...
heck, we even went to visit Hababa Nur together, sat together hearing pearls of wisdom from the wife of Habib Umar Bin Hafiz , gaining a huge honour to visit a wali Allah who came from Hadramaut and sitting alongside many solehas who were there in their black purdahs...

I remembered those moments at Masjid Aleem Siddique.... Now I can only smile, pray and hope she will eventually come back to the right path..I realised, no amount of my advise have helped her, so I leave it in God's hands...one think for sure, I cannot give up on her....because, I myself do not know how I'm going to end this life and leave it to go to the next realm... We can all only pray for husnul khotima and pray to be on the right path and pray that Rasullulah (saw) don't walk away from us....

.................... well back to my own life... Im currently job hunting, abit depressing being jobless at a time like this... but in turn, I get to watch the kids grow up...

Little Habib is in Genting Highlands right now... enjoying his time with his grandparents while I look after his sister....
I did put Adik at my MIL's house and went dating with the hubster, we went to Teleshop where I bought the E71, then we had lunch at PastaMania at Orchard Cineleisure and had strawberry smooties and Tiramisus...It was so funny... we actually felt so free and remember this was how life was without the kids....
well.... Im sure those couple time will come back eventually when the kids become more independant and start doing their own things and Ummi and Abah can concentrate on each other more....

When Habib Salim Asytiri was here, he reminded us to look after our kids, know what they are doing behind us... take care of the girls, watch what they wear.. make effort to bring them to majlis Ilmu... a person who goes of to attend a majlis Ilmu is protected by the wings of the angels.... yes, its real those wings...huge and massive sheltering us...we just dont see it....

Insya'allah...I feel that when we have the right Intentions, Allah (swt) will help us in raising the kids.. Of cos the little dissapointments that we have with them and the patience that we have to have when raising our kids are all tests from Allah (swt)......

Looking at Adik, just makes me want to be a good Ummi and be a good role model to her..I hope I can do it.. Insya'allah...

Adik at 2 months....
She has started to make conversations with us.. those baby sounds... baby giggles and baby talks....and she has started to laugh and smile .....

Separation Anxiety...

Apparently, my boss called me a few weeks back to check if I could return to the office earlier to help out with the company's call centre. Work will be extended till end March before the official outsource to the Manila Call centre takes place.

At first, I looked at my babies and I rejected. Afterall, Little Habib had just started school and adik is still very much on Breast milk.

But than again, I watched them day in and day out, and things seems to have settled down now and my mum had given me the green light to start work, so Ive decided to return to work next week. Yeah, so much for the 4 months of maternity leave hor... !
Of cos, I will get extra pay for returning..its just a matter of sacrificing my leave... still, I find it a little necessary as the money will come in handy in times like this..insya'allah.

Since Ive made this decision, I have been going through some bouts of depression...just tiny ones... ( who said Muslims does not go through depression? ) We do... I feel everyone can get depression, its just a matter of how we handle it... eg: zikir , reading the quran , qiamulail....seek help from Allah (swt)....or by any other halal means like drinking coffee or spending time with love ones...talking it out...

Yes, so I can feel the separation anxiety already!... its been 3 days of not picking up Little Habib from school ( dry run lah for the actual day ) and he came home telling me " Ummi never come and fetch me eh.?"....you see, the little one feel it too....
Today, I'll be fetching him, just need to explain to him after this that Tok or Dada will be the ones fetching him once Ummi starts work next week...Ohhh.... painful....

Than, there is Adik... angel I tell u.. ( insya'allah )...well she needs me too.. I mean, I know Mak and Daddy and the Aunty and Mamus at home can shower her with hugs and kisses but its the Ummi's touch that is special to the baby right... and what about the milk?
well, for now, she just have to take express breastmilk and if not enough, its Dumex Mamex.

Little Habib is getting better in school, he does not say those bad words anymore, and he has so far stop hitting his friends. Sometimes, I do find his school a little too strict but I guess they have to maintain a high standard of discipline to control the lot of toddlers.
I am quite happy I didn't pull him out of school when the going was bad because, yesterday, he recited the doa after eating ( in a cute voice he said : " Oh Allah, thank you for the food and drink and for making us good Muslims. Amin " and wiped his palms over his face. )
Oh Masya'Allah.. hubby and me were overjoyed like Jakun parents asking him to repeat what he just did..hahahhhh.....
and sometimes he will mutter those arabic words he learn in school like " Gufronaka" or " Qiam" or "Illaliqa"....

Anyway, he is learning some things there... he just need to learn to behave when he is out with us. That part is abit tough and rather challenging cos he's rather pampered.

Adik sleeping in her baby cot.

Hubby decided to dump the play pen and buy this baby cot from our good friends Fir and Ummu Nabil.

Came at a very good price and in good condition too with free mattress and linens! Alhamdullilah...

Nabil used to sleep in this cot, and now Adik. She seems happy there you know, sometimes she smiles in her sleep and we joked that she is thinking of Abang Nabil...(hehe..sorry hor for the joke at such a young age..sheesh... )

and so far, Adik is well trained to sleep in the cot, unlike Little Habib who has been sleeping in between me and hubby from day 1.

Blessings...

Though its been tiring, It has also been so much joy

to have my 2 kids in my life, is indeed a blessing....and as my journey through motherhood continues,

I thank Allah for all the blessings and trials that he has given me....Masya'allah...countless.

They grow up preety fast dont they....?

Little Habib is getting better though there are days he gets on my nerves...

Little Adik is so sweet and demure and I pray she stays good forever...

Was warded at CGH during the CNY holidays...Am really stress at a 3rd party...

My breastmilk is drying up partly due to stress or due to the meds, I dont know.... and Im getting very Kan Cheong to get it back cos I am not ready to stop breastfeeding yet...

so thats my life so far...heh....looking forward to April and July.

Habib Salim Asy-shateri was in Singapore few days back..He has gone off to Kedah and will be back again this weekend I think....
Hubby went for the lectures and even drank off his glass....as for me, no chance of meeting Habib this time around... but alhamdullilah all the same.

My sweet darlings..... they are the ones who have been keeping me busy lah... they and the housework.. : )

10th Muharram this year..

Alhamdullilah.. today is 10th Muharam, Hari Asyura... this day seems to hold a special place in my heart now...

Its been rather long since I left this blog idle, till I kindda lost the art of blogging. Yes, it does feel rather weird.

Another 2 days till Adik turns 1 mth old. This little angle of mine has been such a big help. She is easy to handle, wakes up 2-3 times for milk or diaper change, than she sleeps back, no major problems, no wailing and crying unless she is hungry and she does seems rather independent.

Im facing a major challenge with Little Habib. May Allah (swt) makes things easy for me and him. He is having separation anxiety with me big time as he has entered the schooling phase of his life. Its the 3r day today, and its still pretty bad. I wont mention much, just that its really causing me much sadness and stress and I blame it on the way hubby and me brought him up. With Adik, I promise it will be different.
No more clingy-ness and hard core pampering.

My days are now filled with taking care of the 2 kids, ensuring Little Habib gets some own time with me, feeding my little guzzler, feeding.... changing diaper....feeding and more feeding....breastfeeding on demand is really tiring....
yes I agree with Norza, we breastfeeding mums are like human cows. Still, I will try my best to stay thankful.

Alhamdullilah.

Following the Sunnah...

Alhamdullilah.....

So far, we have visited Habib Abbas for the baby's takhnik, we have named her and we have shaved her head bald ( only once ) asper Sunnah Rasullulah (saw).

Semoga our Little Princess grows up to be a proper muslimah and a Soleha. Amiin!

At the residence of Habib Abbas Alsagoff, on the day we checked out of ESH.

1st week as a Mother of 2...

Alhamdulillah, I've given birth to a sweet baby girl on the 10th Dec at 9.33pm.

Earlier on that faithful day, I suspected that my water bag was leaking as I had lots of clear water discharge but still, no contraction pain. Not willing to take any chances, my mum suggested that I just go to the hospital.

I checked in ESH at 7pm after hubby finished his work, and by that time, I was already 5cm dilated.

Dr Heng was still at her Bedok Clinic, thus, I was handled by the midwives. Hubby went to Masjid Aleem Siddique to pray Magrib and Isyak as I told him to go and make doa for me. I was confident that the baby will pop out only nearing to midnight.

Hubby came back to the labour ward nearing 9pm. I had started to feel contraction pain as I was put on the drip and the labour was to be induced. I remember I still chatted with my hubby amids taking deep breath from my laughing gas, and we snapped some pictures too.

The real pain only started slightly after 9pm when my dear gynea came in the labour room to break my waterbag and after 30 mins of intense pain, the midwives shouted to my gynea to come in as she was reading the papers outside waiting for me to fully dilate. I pushed hard and after a few tries, my darling princess came out to this world.

Again No epidural, just Laughing Gas and the pentidine jab which in the end, didnt help when the real contractions started.

I can still remember the pain... Ooouch... no wonder heaven is under the mother's feet!

Well, being a mother of 2 small kids is still not easy and I am trying really hard to adjust. Its been tiring as I have to divide my attention. The only rest I get when both of them are asleep, like now.

The first few days were terrible as I had bad engorgements due to too much milk productions. I couldnt even close my armpits properly as it was swelling with milk, and it made me so depress and feverish. Alhamdullilah, I have some friends who I consider 'Breastfeeding Experts' to sms and call me to advise, and also I have a really good tukang urut who helped me ease the engorged breast. Its much better already.

The only thing hubby and me are battling now is how to please Little Habib and make him love his sister. Apparently, he does feel a little left out as I am always feeding the baby or pumping my milk out. He takes it out by hitting her, beating her with the pillow, pressing his face against her face , taking out her mittens and crying his heart out when Im am trying to feed the baby. When his Abah is carrying Adik, he quickly tugs at his Abah to put her down and carry him instead.

We are trying our best to explain to him that the baby loves him, and that she feels pain when is being hit. We do shower him with alot of attention and hubby still maintain our nightly mosque routing with him, but its just that I dont follow them.

I can understand how my little boy feels. All this while, his Ummi is sitting with him in the car, entertaining his talks and now, its just him and Abah.

I cried too when he hugs me and cry. I explained to him our normal routine will come back soon when Adik is a little bigger. I miss those times too, but I have to be fair to both of my children.

I am trying to be positive with alot of doa. Hubby is very concern too and we will continue to to try and get Little Habib to adjust till he knows that now Adik is part of our lives. I believe when he is a little older, things will be fine. Its just that at 2yrs 5mths years old, its hard for him to understand this addition to the family.

Till then, Wasallam.
Fi'amanillah.