The one where I'm being Positive...

A week has passed, the current maid seems to progress a little. She understands the housework, she just don't understands the kids much. 
She is quite fierce to them, and I have to keep telling her to love them like they are her own siblings. 
Maybe a little strictness to the kids is good. 
The kids are a little protected and pampered, but they are good kids no doubt. 


I'm still waiting for the experienced helper to comes. My own fear sometimes overtake the actual situations at times.
I fear that the new older maid will resent me telling her what to do, and I fear I don't have the kind of control 
that I have on my younger in-experience maid. 
But I am the employer right, and I have the right to train her to do things my way. 


I really pray this new one is a stayer, if I could get a helper that wants to stay long term with my family, that the problem is solve. 
I want to work cos I have a good job, one which uses my brains all the time. 
It would be a pity to quit my profession to be a housewife, though a housewife is a very noble profession on its own. 
I love to spend, I love to shop. I love to be generous to people. 
Without a job, it would be hard for me to do all those.


I have to be realistic. 


Singapore is so expensive and everything is so tempting. 
Its not as if my hubby earns really big bucks that he can give lots of $$ a month for my own spending right..... 
I realised, this issue of being a housewife with always comes afloat when my kids are in sadness and they need me. 
But when they are happy and well settled, I don't even think about the issue of being a stay-at-home mom. 


I  just have to go through each day, each challenges, as a working mom, praying that Allah protects us and makes the path to the afterlife and to Jannah easy for us. I know, my issue is faced my many working mothers. Its not a new issue and its not an unsolvable one. 


I have to be positive.


I have to be strong for the sake of my hubby and family. I know, my hubby loves me to go out and work and we have a good comfortable life. For that, I have to sacrifice my desire to always be with my kids.


Its not all bad, I do spend time with the after work and during the weekends. In fact, we do alot of activities together like playing at the park and going to restaurants to feast! Its just the weekdays that they are separated from me for a good 10 hrs or so. 


Well, we cant get everything in life. The people who have everything might not really have everything if you really look into their lives. Allah gives us something, and he Takes away something.


I may have a naughty hyper active son, but at least I have a son. 
I may have to work and be separated from them during the day, but at least I get to see them at night....


Think about all the prisoners whose mothers are housewives. Were they not supposed to be successful because their mothers are at home to monitor them?


Think about all the women who have to duty travel for work and don't get to tuck their kids in bed. At least I get to put my kids to bed. 


Think about all those having difficulty finding the perfect jobs when I have one yet, I am not thankful enough. 


Ok now I'm being positive.. hehe, I can imaging hubby loving this entry, as he is a very positive person. 


Lets just wait and see how the experience maid handle things and how she can cope with the kids... 


For now, God Willing, I will be fine....

Since our smart and efficient helper left 3 weeks ago, our lives have been going through an emotional roller coaster. 

Firstly, we definitely had separation anxiety with her. Secondly, the new helper has been rather terrible, making things even more worse. Not that I want to compare them, but really, we need a helper with the basic intelligence of helper knowledge.....

I guess, asides from going to the agency to choose another helper, all that we can do now is to go through each day at a time. 

Unfortunately, its has been everyday that the helper makes some sort of mistakes. Some are small mistakes and some are really big ones. I can tell her IQ is not as high as our previous helper, and her confidence level is rather low too. She seems to have redden eyes all the time, and I have been telling her to be strong and not to be scared as I wont eat her up!!....I wont you know, I'm rather nice to these helpers.....I know what they go through to get here. All I am asking for is effort and sincerity in taking care of the kids and household. 

Its bad enough she cant handle the kids activeness...She seems to be confuse all the time. I keep having to pull her aside for a pep talk every now and then to give her encouragement to survive...... 

and I thought I was the soft one here!

I don't wanna write about her mistakes. It has been rather horrific but thankfully the kids are OK despite getting less attention and love from the helper. Ive chosen another helper. She will come end of December.... 

May God Help us, cos really, its wearing me down. She cant handle the kids, so I have to handle them when I'm at home. And me being always tired, is feeling extra tired and stress cos I don't really get the full assistance that I used to get....

You know, sometimes I wish I can be a housewife, than I wont have to face maid problems...

But I cant...I cant... He wont let me... he don't think I can be a good Housewife, he don't think I can survive.... and we need the extra income......the car has been important to us.....a real big help. 

Abang didn't really do well in K1. His school system is rather competitive...There are really smart kids in his class now, unlike the previous school. He didn't do well in Iqra too. He is smart by Lazy they say. 

Hubby has been losing his patients these days...Ive never seen him this stress. We've been fighting. Ive been trowing things......i feel better when I throw things. I trow things at my cupboard.....so there is a loud thud, and my hubby knows I'm serious....*shakes head*..... Its been a long while since we both behave this way.....

and The days goes by bloggy, I hope to hold my sanity for the sake of my kids.....my face, just looks tired.... just as I was starting to enjoy life and be positive. 

and........I pray it will be better tomorrow.

Finally, a smart phone user...


Alhamdullilah...


Hubby, Thank u so much!


.... <3

Sitting in the Train on the way to work this morning, reading "Desperate in Dubai" feeling fascinated yet disgusted at the same time with the lives of these rich middle eastern women, I was lost in my own world to say the least.

Just randomly, I looked up.....and....there he was, boyish, Indian muslim, obviously younger, looking at me, he let out a shy smile.

My heart skipped a beat, I turned away. . .

*** BLUSH ***

Being Perpetually Pregnant, topped with a puffy face, the look was something I would never have dreamt off seeing....

Still, it felt GOOD, in the most Wrong of Ways.....

: P

Its nearly the end of Oct.
Sad, very sad that my first ever helper is returning to her kampung Cilacap, for good... to get married.
The kids would miss her terribly.....esp Adik.
Siti, has been fast, reliable, truthful and loving. Not to forget Patient. V Patient with the kids.


I pray to you, Ya Allah, please give me a good if not a better replacement. Please allow my kids to warm up fast to the new helper. To Allah, I seek help and protection. Amiin.

I am down with really bad flu....
I am in the office....
Gosh I feel sick! and sleepy!
wish I could just lie on my bed right now...I wonder why dont I just go and see the DR to take MC?

Alhamdullilah, Its friday....
A blessed day to begin blogging again,
Insya'Allah......
Never say Never ....haha... thats so true....
I thought I wont be blogging again, now I am. and I never thought I would go back to working with my ex-company and the airlines, now I am....wooh....We really dont know whats in store for our future yah? We can only Pray for the best path, do our best to ensure we are on the right path....

: )

The kids are bigger now, new and greater challenges in life, bigger responsibilities....
I feel scared sometimes, but I leave it in the hands of GOD.
Though, I do worry just as much.
I plan to keep blogging more about my own feelings rather than stories about my kids.
I realised, its better to keep it that way, unless there is somethings about them that I am willing to share on this blog.....

Allah knows best.....
Peace and blessings to our prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Last Entry ....

PEACE YO YO YO!! ~ FROM ABANG N ADIK.

ABANG N ADIK SLEEPING DURING THE HAUL AT MASJID SHAH ALAM

 

Alhamdullilah, Allah (swt) has given me life to wake up this morning to do the things I need and to strive even more to be a better Muslimah.

My purpose of opening my laptop today and to blog is really to close this blog and to end the chapters of my blogging life, yet it suddenly dawned on me that I really MISS my blog.

"Oh Bloggy...you don't know how many times I thought about you and wished I could blog about whatever exciting and spectacular things that I was going through in my daily life yet I could not find the time.

Adik wakes up really early even on weekends and is really clingy to me. She's like that cos on week days, she sees me only for a couple of hours as I have long days at work.

Abang, cant see the laptop on as he will jump up and down for Starfall.com or some videos on YouTube.

Not to mention, Ive been cooking, marketing, reading, etc so all these took paramount in my daily list of things to do in the weekend.

So I guess, that's partly the reason, Ive been abandoning you, Bloggy. "

Life it seems is full of challenges. Alhamdullilah, hubby and kids are doing well and we are happy. We still visit the Habaibs when they come and visit. We bring the kids still for their Duas and make effort in ensuring our kids are in the best of companies. We do not act 'kiasu' and are rather casual at their education level though I know its high time I get strict with Abang during his study activities.

We just got back from Masjid Shah Alam for the Haul of Imam Abdullah AlHaddad. It was a great family trip in which I am praying will last till my last breath and continue within my children's heart as a family tradition. Hubby drove up and we saw familiar faces during the haul. Masjid Shah Alam was enormous and Beautiful. I wished we had masjids like that in Singapore.

Now that we are back, another Habaib from Hadramaut is here and we have been going for his ceramah ever since. Tonight will be the last at our favourite Masjid Abdul Razak after solat Isyak.

If there is any readers reading, I'm sure you know this is not the place to get the schedule's anymore since I am too busy to update anything. I have to learn for my own knowledge now, so please make the effort to attend this ilmu gatherings. Habib Khadim said yesterday, attending these majlis Ilmu is better than praying for 1000 years and seeing off 1000 jenazahs and visiting 1000 sick people. So going for majlis Ilmu is HUGE pahala and insya'allah, we all get the barakah from anything Good that we do.

Personal wise, I am given a huge Test from Allah. The person very close to me is facing some HUGE crisis and sickness, and HER problem is My problem and I am praying the problem will subside by next year. Its nearly 2 years since my and Hubby have to help with this Problem and it is really draining us yet we Cannot Give Up due to Filial Piety.

With That Said, I extend my Salaams to anyone reading this blog and to my Bloggy as well. I miss all of you, my readers, my friends, my use-to be- blogger friends and wishes peace and happiness for all.

Amiin.

7 Things....

Inspired by the intelligent blogger Hajar:

Share 7 Things about Myself :

1. I am busy with work because I work 3 saturdays a month...I dont have time to Facebook anymore....I am always trying to catch up on my spiritual journey...Its amazing I can blog at this hour...probably cos I am watching the World Cup finals and find it a waste of time if I dont multi-task at the same time....

2. Currently also busy with coaching my 4 year old son with his writing and Iqra'. Not Good at all......stressfull...and he is only 4!!!

3. I love reading Biographies...cos Im curious about the way people live their lives (kepo lah tu)...currently reading the life of Sheikh Muzaffar Shukor Al Masri - Malaysia's first cosmonaut.

4. Been curtain hunting alot these days...They are so expensive. Where can I actually get good yet cheap curtains? hah....

5. I miss my life before I had kids, but I am thankful for them non the less.

6. I try to compromise with my hubby's liberal yet religious lifestyle..go figure!

7. Yes, I love food, but am slim and the fats just simply go right to my ever bloated tummy.... sobbs... I HATE DOING CRUNCHES....

XOXOXOX

Ummi is still around....

Just busy with the kids....

haha....


I miss u bloggy!!


Maybe one liners now? Just words from my heart...random ones...


Yati, I wanted a different set of purple but Blogger was limited.


Well, this will do for now....


I miss u all, Thanks for emailing and asking about me. I'm no longer active on FB too....


Its work. We work hard there.....Sometimes I feel crampy at the chest.


Its the kids too......loads of attention.


Abang: sweet, understands better, stubborn, active, still giving me "heart attacks"....


Adik: sweet, manjakani, infectious smile, active, likes to imitate her brother, joyful, lovable, Abah's princess.


...............and There is this huge problem or Test that I am given....by the AlMighty. Oooo U would never guess this and I probably will never tell on this Blog. Pray for me yar....


Love Ya!!!

ESQ 165 - I miss this song and our dance!

Demi Matahari - Surah Asy Shams.


Alhamdullilah, I had just finish this 3 days course - ESQ 165 @ Furama Hotel.
Masya'allah...a life changing event.... never before had I known Allah Subahanawata'allah like I do now...
Benar2 Benar aku Bersyukur kepada Allah atas Taufiq dan Hidayah nya...

( i will write abt this experience...insya'allah)

Jan...Feb....2010

New Job...Alhamdullilah...my main focus right now other than family life.

Helper....Alhamdullilah....

Kids....Alhamdullilah, coping....

Abang...still needs alot of reminding

Adik...getting active.

Marriage....trying my best to be .... The Good Wife....dont think I am one yet.

Blog Hopping...Non existent...

Friends...sometimes. Miss them.

Family...trying to save what is left.

2009 Problems.....still on going.....Masya'Allah....It hurts.

Schedule....Bz.....

Maulid Season.... brings me peace....

Shawls....latest hobby.

Wondering if I should continue with this abandone blog of mine which I love so much.....still thinking.

Life....hopes to move forward...

Insya'Allah.....

Changes....

Verily, In the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.....

A huge change....

I'm struggling to get use to someone new in my house.....Although all seems fine now, I pray that things will stay this way.

I'm trying to embrace our new life, bravely, yet why do I still feel scared?

I am praying hard that all goes well and we will get use to things in 2010. I am trying to seek Allah more now because I feel scared. I am wondering how do I really feel at peace with what is happening around me, and just leaving all my worries with God. It takes alot of faith for that to happen.

Found some peace in my heart during the Majlis Burdah with Habib Hassan Alkaff from Indonesia at Masjid Sultan last Saturday night.....

Yet, I am also sad that Habib Umar bin Hafiz will not be coming to Singapore this Muharram. He will still travel to Malaysia and Indonesia...

I have so much to say about my son, Abang. He is growing and changing yet, still cheeky and naughty, he is much more loving now....I can see abit of growing up in him....

I will end my last post of 2009 all about Abang soon...Insya'allah.....

Burdah night..... Met some friends during this majlis.... Really loved the burdah and the qashidas. Syeikh Affefudin Al-Jailani was amongst the speakers.

Abang enjoyed the qashidas too, and loved playing with his new friend, Abdul Rahim... I snapped some funny poses of them in my hp camera....what funny kids they are.

The year 2009...

2009:

*became housewife for a whole year...

*hospitalised for asthma

*attempted to cook a few dishes, successful with Italian cooking. Cooked Adik's porridge, something I didnt have to do during Abang's porridge eating days.

*handled my baby solely and breastfeed her for a year. Wuhoo!

*still trying our best to discipline Abang, looks like he has mellowed abit but still much work needs to be done with this boy....Headache!

*Abang attends school. Hysterical when he first joined, now he is the "chip" of the block.

*Witness a major destruction. Still praying for a peaceful closure. Sad.

*Witness people who stuck by us (very thankful for the gifts) and also those who left us in times of hardship...hur hur hur. You think I didn't noticed? You Think???

*Worked hard in finding a job. Wasn't easy being a jobseeker who wears the headscarf and has 2 small kids. Its not always you get the job that you really want. Reminded that Rizk is determined by Allah(swt)...

* Hubby drove up to KL with just me and the kids for the first time to attend the haul of Imam Abdullah Alhaddad. It was a good and spiritual trip. Insya'allah we will make it a yearly event with our close friends.

*Got a job through Hubby's contacts. Shows that networking and being friendly is a powerful tool in life.

* Learnt that one should not always stick to Principals. Its best to be generous or your Principals will eat you up one day. Life is not always about Principals. Its best to give and take.

* Looking forward to spend the school holidays with my kids before a new task awaits in 2010.

With the many sadness and joys, I am thankful that I still have my hubby as my patient advisor and my kids who keeps me sane....yes I am. Alhamdullilah.

Approaching a new beginning....

What can I say, Its been quite a year...

2009 has been for me a year full of ups and downs but Alhamdullilah, holding on to my faith, I have made it through without crumbling to the fullest.

While it has been such a joy looking after Adik for a whole year, breastfeeding her till now, taking care of her every need, I knew at the back of my mind that one day, I would have to be out in the office again working.
Not many would understand why I have to do this, some have critised but its just something hubby and me plans on doing, for the sake of our future aspirations.

Alhamdullilah, after months of job hunting, a few unsuccessful interviews, disappointments, tears, temp jobs and lots of prayers, I managed to land a job with a company whose boss is someone I had first heard about a few years back, eventually met at his open house, and have deep admiration for his effort in being on the path that not many would take. A man who is Generous but keeps a low profile.
The office is near, there are some perks to the job, the people seems nice and alhamdullilah, its next to a mosque. But seriously, I may dread the long hours.

They are welcoming me on board starting 4h Jan 2010, so there is lots to do now to prepare myself.
First and foremost, I'm training Adik to drink milk from the bottle, something she has not done in a long time as her milk comes directly from me. Its been quite a challenge and Adik is frustrated but so far, I have succeeded in 2 occasions, so there is still hope. Insya'allah.

Then there is a need for a helper. Oh Allah, I pray and I cling on to you to help me choose a reliable, responsible and loving helper who will be good to family.

And since I have been on a break for about a year and this job is something new to me, I have been praying hard, reading the Ratib and doing some zikir to prepare myself emotionally and mentally that no matter what, I will try my best to succeed. Give me 5 years before I shall start to really sit down and think about being a Full-Time Housewife.

"Oh my kids, Ummi hopes the both of you will be able to adapt. Dadi and Dada will be around, so will the new helper, but I know the both of you will miss Ummi so much. We might not have our story sessions before your afternoon naps, but Ummi promise that on the days that Ummi is not working, we will spend lots of time catching up about the week. "

I worry for Adik, but I leave her in Allah's (swt) hands..... Its best she turns out independant and not someone like me. As for dear Abang, he will miss me Im sure...but he is also close to his grandparents, so hopefully, he wont be so affected.

2009; I saw something which I never thought I would in my lifetime. The things that happened had taught me and hubby a huge lesson in life and we vow not to be the same like those who chose such a path.
We talked about about the stuff that happened alot and promised to be good role models to our own kids.

Our kids...such innocent beings. Ummi and Abah pray that our family will be strong and good.
Amiin.

Adik and Abang squabbles alot but they also play together when Abang is in a Good Mood. Adik iss the good one, always wanting to play and hug her Abang...but unfortunately her brother can be so dramatic and aloof sometimes. Pfft....

My cute baby button nose..... starting to be active this days..... Its easy to bring her out. Maybe its a girl thing.... : )

The kids loves swimming...just bought Abang a new bathing suit.....

Adik too is very comfortable swimming be it on her boya or when her Abah is holding her.

Eid Mubaraq...

Eid Mubaraq..... : )

No matter how I try to run away from being involve in the festivities, I tend to love it back again when we relatives and friends meet.....Its always so nice to catch up.

These days, Ive been too caught up with mothering duties that I do not have the time to blog. My journey through motherhood and Ihsan continues to be tested with lots of ups and downs, but Alhamdullilah, I am managing.

The children are such a joy to look after no matter how difficult they can be. Often, when taking care of their fussiness, crankiness and moodiness, I wonder, who else can be more patient than me, their mother. No maid or helper can be as patient as I am or give them as much love as I can, because simply, they are MINE.

I cant wait to go back to the workforce, however, I am worried for Adik as she is clinging on to me like a little monkey. You know what I mean right. I worry for the kids if I were to go back to work, but it must be done in order to achieve our aspirations.

The cure of being worried all the time is to have absolute faith in Allah (swt) and to lay your worries to Allah (swt) only. I noticed, my heart has been more at peace eversince, I started practising this zikir :
Hasbiyal laahu laa ilaaha illa huwa alaihi tawakkaltu wa huwwa Rabbul arshil azeem.

حَسْبِيَ اللّهُ لا إِلَـهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَهُوَ رَبالْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ(129)
say: Allah is sufficient for me, there is no god but He; on Him do I rely, and He is the Lord of mighty power.

With that, I am walking the straight path, trying to be a good mother and person and to do the best I can with whatever that I face. Insya'allah.


Our colour for this Raya is Dark Purple. However, I ditched Adik's purple kebaya for a more comfortable pink blouse for obvious reasons.

Purple is our colour this year. Even Aunty Nurul joined in.

The kids with their 'smelly pillow' which Abang affectionately calls "Babbut"...and they love biting the corners. What can I say... these pillows are "god sent" !

AIF!.. Waiting for the blessed month of Ramadhan.

Alhamdullilah.... Its Friday....!

Compared to my last entry, I guess I am feeling much more thankful now. Not that I am looking forward to anything spectacular besides the month of Ramadhan.
I cant wait to soak myself in the blessings that Ramadhan brings. Will make lots of Doa.

Unfortunately, I cant be bothered about Syawal, cant be bothered about the spring cleaning and ordering the cookings and cakes, cant be bothered about getting new clothes or housing items. My heart is only with Ramadhan and frown at me all you want, but really, I am not looking forward to celebrating Eid.
Eid is just a picture of tiredness, endless visitings, cranky Adik in Baju Kurung, active Abang who cant stop running and drinking gassy drinks and so much wastefullness. : /
I used to love Eid celebrations and meeting my relatives. Hmm....
+++

We were at Masjid Abdul Razak for Malam nisfu Sya'aban. Alhamdullilah, felt happy seeing Abang eating nasi Briyani with Hubby. Felt calm listening to Surah Yaasin and Tahlil. Felt blessed saying Amiin to the Doa made by the Imam.

+++

Feeling thankful that Hubby and his friends got to be with Habib Ali of Batu Pahat yesterday. Masya'allah, they managed to read Ratib AlHaddad at Habib Ali's home as well as spend about half and hour chatting with Habib Ali.
The last time they visited, Habib only came out for a minute. Im glad Hubby has good-hearted friends.

Habib Ali reminded them Not to miss their prayers, Continue making lots of Istigfar as Allah (swt) is Forgiving, and to make lots of Sedeqah and to help the poor or needy with our wealth.

Although I feel happy that hubby get to spend time with Habib, sat next to the Habib and touch his hands, I also feel jealous that I cant get close to these Habaibs cos I am a women.
I long to be with the Alims and Pious. I miss looking, hugging and holding my Ustazah. I miss being in Majlis Ilmu and be amongst the humble.
The world seems so dirty these days. Most are going after the worldly materials and comparing wealth and belongings with one another.
Still I am thankful, I still know lots of ladies and men who are striving to do well for the Hereafter....

+++

Its a Friday. I am waiting for Ramadhan...a few more days. I miss the zikirs. I could just cry picturing the nightly Ibadah.

+++
Adik at 8 months is now clingy and does not sleep so much during the day. Does not like being left alone and wish to be carried most time. She can crawl and move around fast too.

Hubby bought a hand held blender for Adik's porridge. I use it to blend the porridge into a puree. So much more convenient than using the big blender. Should have gotten it durings Abang's porridge eating days!

Salaams Juma'ah.

Allahumma salli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammadin wa 'ala ali Sayyidina Muhammad.

IInnallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ.

(Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

AIF!.... Tired..exhausted...whats new?

Eversince Adik came into our lives, I have been feeling exhausted.
Sure there are joys, happiness and laughter, but I find myself feeling exhausted everyday.

Taking care of 2 small children on my own is really hard work. I don't complain to anyone except to hubby sometimes, and not long ago, when my dad asked me if I can cope with 2 kids, I gave a confident " Of Coz!!"...heh...I was only kidding myself.

There is never a moment that I am truly resting and not doing anything. Even when I am taking a nap, my brains are thinking of my next duties. Even when I sleep at night, I get woken up every few hours for milking duties.
Even when Im taking a bath, I do it fast cos the kids are waiting for me. I try my best to enjoy the Moroccan Rose shower foam that my friend gave me but sometimes, even before I can have some well deserved aroma therephy, I have to wash it off for the kids are .... (you guessed it).... waiting!

My mum always tell me, its better to face hardship now so that when both the kids grow up at the same time, things will be much easier.

Many of my friends also tell me not to regret my decision to have another child this quick. "Don't regret, move forward." They say.

Its not that I regret, but sometimes, I cannot hide the fact that I am tired.... with chasing and fussing about Abang, and constantly feeding Adik, that people can tell that I am not really happy.

Yesterday, after a full day of trying to discipline Abang and forcing him to eat his meals, I felt so breathless that I nearly fainted in the car!

Maybe, its due to us being "maidless" for the past 1 week, caring and being worried for Mak's health and holding the full responsibility of looking after my kids that really got me so drained. Gosh..I am soooo soft.

Well Alhamdullilah, my parents new helper is here today. So far, she looks smart and not 'Blur'. That's good and she tells me she loves kids and can handle them well. She seems to be a fast learner. Experienced. Hopefully, she's a keeper.

xxx

Alhamdullilah, I managed to visit Maqam Habib Nuh last Sunday morning. We went as a family of 4. I had a hard time making doa beside the maqam as my dear son, cant sit still and wanted to touch and pull everything within sight. But I did my best, even prayed Solat Sunat Dhuha at the masjid area.

I made Doa with my eyes close and palms raised. I asked for whats best for me. I left my worries in God's hands.

I haven't been happy in a long time... I have been tired for awhile now. Truly, I miss lots of things.
But being sad only made me think of Allah (swt) more and brought me closer to him. Sis Muna said this on FB :
"A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah."
I truly truly agree.... I love Ustazah Muna...She's an angel on this earth. Masya'allah,

Ahlan wa Sahlan Ya Sya'aban. A few more days to the day of Nisfu Sya'aban where our report books goes up. I am waiting for that night where our doas reach up and are not rejected.


I'm tired. The kids have awoken from their naps. Time to start mothering duties again. Heh...U understand right....?

I'll let the pictures do the talking now.


I snapped this picture of Adik when I got up last morning. She can stand at her cot and look at us sleeping on the bed now. Its time to lower the cot....

My kids....Waiting for the day Abang can learn to behave and listen to our instructions. He is so cheeky now and his life is all about his own rules.

Cooked porridge for Adik. This will be her lunch and 5pm dinner. Always thinking of what other ingredients I can put in for her porridge. Fish, Chicken, Mince meat etc etc....Thanks Ummu Mukhtaar and Ummu Ahmad Farouq for guiding me.

I also enjoy making friend Macaroni for our late supper. I am beginning to like simple cooking. Now we have eggs and rice in our kitchen something we never had before cos I dont cook at our home. To a new beginning!

Each day, when I have the time, I make vegetable soup for my mum. She has to watch her diet now. No more sugar, salt and oil...just plain veggies. Poor Mum.

Cookings Adik's porridge and Mak's veggie soup is now a routine in the morning.

Finally made nice fish porridge for Adik. The trick was to add ginger, onions and garlic to remove the fishy taste. Love you ladies for guiding me. What are friends for eh!

Abang listening to mum reciting quranic verses.

Do you know that he have memorised surah Humazah all because he is amazed by the word Huthoma which means Hell? Yeah..he is so intrigue by Huthoma that he makes us on this surah in the car on Repeat Mode. He loves it and will read it aloud. He also loves Surah Wa dhuha and Surah At Tin.

Abang being his mischievous self next to Maqam Habib Nuh.

Its a Friday..... Salaams Juma'ah.

Allahumma salli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammadin wa 'ala ali Sayyidina Muhammad.

IInnallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ.(Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

The maid ran away this morning.

Mum has been instructed to Rest in Bed for 2 Weeks.

I am trying to do my best to help out, cleaning, ironing but with the 2 kids who need constant attention, sometimes, my hands are tied.

I could just CRY!!!!!

Lost....

Rejab has passed by so fast and soon we will see bulan Sya'aban,

Alhamdullilah, I managed to fast a few days this month.

Been busy with the kids. Adik has started her porridge intake, so I feed her porridge twice a day for lunch and around 5pm. In the morning, she takes either Nestle's Oats and Prunes or Brown rice with Milk or Wheat and Honey. At night, she takes solely milk. Alhamdullilah, her appetite for food and milk is so far good.

Made fish porridge with potatoes and carrots all blended together.

Adik looking like a doll in her white satin dress ready to go Mamu's Bai's wedding reception.

Last Friday, mum was rushed to CGH's ICU as her heart nearly collapse. There was too much water in her lungs. Her heart could not pump for oxygen. I broke down upon hearing the news when my bro called me at 3am.
When mummy was at the hospital, I was totally in charge of my kids well being E.g their food. Made me realise how much dependant I am on my mum and how often I turn to her for her opinions and advice.
I felt feverish without mummy, something didnt feel right but luckily hubby was very supportive. I felt lost, but I calmly took charge and I guess these are things we go through in order to grow and mature.

Doctors wanted Mummy to stay in the ward for another 2 weeks but Alhamdullilah, we managed to convince the DRs to discharge mummy.... so now she can rest on her own bed.

She still has more check ups to go to as an outpatient. We are all watching her diet and ensuring she takes her medicines. Low salt and Low sugar food and due to her water retention, she can only drink 1 litre of water and no more.

I love my mum very much and so does my son and the rest of my siblings. I am praying her kidneys aren't as bad as the dr's said it to be and we can lead our lives normally again.
Goes to show how important it is to watch our diet before we fall ill.

+++

Abang or rather my dear Little Habib, turned 3 years old a few days ago. Since I am not working now, and we don't spend as lavishly anymore, we had a simple celebration for him at his school with his requested chocolate cake and packed some goodybags for his classmates.

We also bought him a blue BMX bicycle from a shop in Tampines. He was of course contented with his gift. Mamu Bai gave him colour pencils and colouring books and Dada and Tok gave some cash. Alhamdullilah, lucky boy.



Abang with his new BMX.

I am still going through my life, trying to be a good wife and mother. Still sending out my resumes to any job vacancies I find interesting. I am leaving it up to Allah's Hands. If he plans for me to work, than I shall. If not, I will keep praying that our finances are protected and go through my life with whatever we have and continue taking care of the kids on my own.

Insya'allah....May HE plans the best for me.