Sure there are joys, happiness and laughter, but I find myself feeling exhausted everyday.
Taking care of 2 small children on my own is really hard work. I don't complain to anyone except to hubby sometimes, and not long ago, when my dad asked me if I can cope with 2 kids, I gave a confident " Of Coz!!"...heh...I was only kidding myself.
There is never a moment that I am truly resting and not doing anything. Even when I am taking a nap, my brains are thinking of my next duties. Even when I sleep at night, I get woken up every few hours for milking duties.
Even when Im taking a bath, I do it fast cos the kids are waiting for me. I try my best to enjoy the Moroccan Rose shower foam that my friend gave me but sometimes, even before I can have some well deserved aroma therephy, I have to wash it off for the kids are .... (you guessed it).... waiting!
My mum always tell me, its better to face hardship now so that when both the kids grow up at the same time, things will be much easier.
Many of my friends also tell me not to regret my decision to have another child this quick. "Don't regret, move forward." They say.
Its not that I regret, but sometimes, I cannot hide the fact that I am tired.... with chasing and fussing about Abang, and constantly feeding Adik, that people can tell that I am not really happy.
Yesterday, after a full day of trying to discipline Abang and forcing him to eat his meals, I felt so breathless that I nearly fainted in the car!
Maybe, its due to us being "maidless" for the past 1 week, caring and being worried for Mak's health and holding the full responsibility of looking after my kids that really got me so drained. Gosh..I am soooo soft.
Well Alhamdullilah, my parents new helper is here today. So far, she looks smart and not 'Blur'. That's good and she tells me she loves kids and can handle them well. She seems to be a fast learner. Experienced. Hopefully, she's a keeper.
Alhamdullilah, I managed to visit Maqam Habib Nuh last Sunday morning. We went as a family of 4. I had a hard time making doa beside the maqam as my dear son, cant sit still and wanted to touch and pull everything within sight. But I did my best, even prayed Solat Sunat Dhuha at the masjid area.
I made Doa with my eyes close and palms raised. I asked for whats best for me. I left my worries in God's hands.
I haven't been happy in a long time... I have been tired for awhile now. Truly, I miss lots of things.
But being sad only made me think of Allah (swt) more and brought me closer to him. Sis Muna said this on FB :
"A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah."
I truly truly agree.... I love Ustazah Muna...She's an angel on this earth. Masya'allah,
Ahlan wa Sahlan Ya Sya'aban. A few more days to the day of Nisfu Sya'aban where our report books goes up. I am waiting for that night where our doas reach up and are not rejected.
I'm tired. The kids have awoken from their naps. Time to start mothering duties again. Heh...U understand right....?
I'll let the pictures do the talking now.
I snapped this picture of Adik when I got up last morning. She can stand at her cot and look at us sleeping on the bed now. Its time to lower the cot....
My kids....Waiting for the day Abang can learn to behave and listen to our instructions. He is so cheeky now and his life is all about his own rules.
Cooked porridge for Adik. This will be her lunch and 5pm dinner. Always thinking of what other ingredients I can put in for her porridge. Fish, Chicken, Mince meat etc etc....Thanks Ummu Mukhtaar and Ummu Ahmad Farouq for guiding me.
I also enjoy making friend Macaroni for our late supper. I am beginning to like simple cooking. Now we have eggs and rice in our kitchen something we never had before cos I dont cook at our home. To a new beginning!
Each day, when I have the time, I make vegetable soup for my mum. She has to watch her diet now. No more sugar, salt and oil...just plain veggies. Poor Mum.
Cookings Adik's porridge and Mak's veggie soup is now a routine in the morning.
Finally made nice fish porridge for Adik. The trick was to add ginger, onions and garlic to remove the fishy taste. Love you ladies for guiding me. What are friends for eh!
Do you know that he have memorised surah Humazah all because he is amazed by the word Huthoma which means Hell? Yeah..he is so intrigue by Huthoma that he makes us on this surah in the car on Repeat Mode. He loves it and will read it aloud. He also loves Surah Wa dhuha and Surah At Tin.
Abang being his mischievous self next to Maqam Habib Nuh.
Its a Friday..... Salaams Juma'ah.
Allahumma salli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammadin wa 'ala ali Sayyidina Muhammad.
IInnallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ.(Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56