Oh Little Habib.... !

Little Habib reading his " Solat " book with me before bed time.
.

" Oh Little Habib....
.

Do you know that Ummi has been rather worried for your behaviour of late.
At first, Ummi thought it was normal...for a toddler to like throwing things...
But after last night, boy, you are really one stubborn boy....
Is it because you want more attention?
.

You see boy, throwing things...breakable things is wrong...
You have this habit of throwing things which are dangerous and breakable.
You have thrown most of Dadi's decorations, plates, bowls, spectacles, Tv Controllers
and most lately, you climb all the way up the stairs, reach your hand up to the ceiling light,
yank the light bulb up from the light hole and throw the light bulb down the stairs.
Don't you know that if the switch was on, you could have been electrocuted ? *God Forbid*
.

Ummi have tried counselling you,
Dada have even taken out his belt and hit you lightly 3 times and everytime we do that, you seem to understand that you cannot pull the light bulb as there is electric current.
You say " no cannot touch, not toy , got current "...
But later on, when no one is looking, you do it again.
.

Last night, after repeated warnings, you rushed up the stairs , pull the new light bulb and throw it down the stairs again.
This time the light bulb broke! Mamu Bab had no choice but to show it to Dada.
Dada was really furious and he blamed it on Ummi for not being pro-active in watching out for you.
Tell me how pro active can Ummi be with a fast moving toddler at this stage of Ummi's pregancy?
.

Dada told Ummi to buy a cane as this habit has to stop at once!
Dada says this is deviant behaviour and not something normal toddlers do...
Dada, the man who spoils you with sooo much love, now cannot stand this behaviour too!

Oh look what you've done !
.
Ummi try not to cane you..
Ummi try to use counselling and explaining method
Ummi ever showed you the belt and you waived your hands to tell me dont use it because you were scared.
.

It breaks Ummi's heart to beat you but if you keep throwing things around, maybe to get more attention, It looks as if The Cane has to make its appearance in our household.
.

Abah has agreed on getting 2 canes! Abah says beating is the right way, since counselling and beating you with our hands does not help.
Just one cane on the hand on your palms and lets see if the pain of the Rattan cane will deter anymore of this naughty behaviour.
You have reached a stage whereby neither Ummi or Dadi can save you from the cane.
We have to do this before the electric current gets you instead.
.

It breaks my heart, you know that...
Because when Dada says this is deviant behaviour,
deeps down Ummi's heart, Ummi know you are a sweet boy...
You are sweet. There are times where you just melt Ummi's heart.
There are times where you comfort Ummi instead.
There are times when you talk to Ummi as if you are the grown up and Ummi is the baby.
.

Because when you are at our house, you are obedient, and you watch the TV with us.
Your favourite programme is Animal Planet.

At bedtime, you read all your Doa's with Ummi and we read your books,
and you drink your milk, and you hug Ummi to sleep.
You always ask Ummi to read Wa Duha and Wal' Asri for you.
.

Ummi have no problems when you are at our house.
But when you are at Dada and Dadi's house, with your grandparents and Aunty Mas and Mamu's around, you suddenly become this little Rascal,
always looking for attention and plotting your next rascal moves.
And you smile at us when you have trown and broken something.
.

Ummi and Abah feels strongly that you are pampered over there.
But isnt pampering you good?
It seems that pampering you has somehow backfired...
.

Maybe Ummi should just let Tok from Abah's side discipline you.
Tok is a disciplinarian. And Ummi don't agree with how he discipline you.
But maybe since giving you alot of love and affection has spoilt you, maybe Tok is right after all....
.

Dada wants Ummi to get air Doa from Habib Abbas to "cure" your naughtiness...
Ummi finds that unnecessary.
Because to Ummi, doa Ibu is the best.
Ummi have done all things I can sayang, to ensure that your are on the straight path...
Abah have brought you to Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Salim Asyatiri, Habib Abbas , Ustaz Hasbi, Ustaz Abu Zaki and many more Alims and Ulama's to read doa and blow it on your head.
We even bring you to the Masjid every night so that you can hear the azan and may the Angels in the Masjid read doa's for you....So spiritually, you are not lacking... yet...
you behave as if you are spiritually lacking at your grandparents house.
.

This problem needs to be tackled before Adik comes in this world.
Or maybe Adik can make you a more discipline toddler.
Ummi don't know how, but maybe if you know you are going to be a Role Model for Adik,
Maybe you will stop trowing dangerous things...
.

Like Ummi said, It breaks my heart to use physical punishment,
But Ummi has no choice,
Ummi dont want my son to grow up like "Anakku Sazali"
Yeah call Ummi Dramatic, but this might happen you know...again * God Forbid*
.

So later, Ummi and Abah is going to buy the cane.. The thin Rattan one...
The one that Ummi fears when Ummi was a kid myself.
And My dear son, Ummi and Abah plans to hang it up the wall,
somewhere prominent, where you can see and start fearing your self...."
.

" Oh Allah ... please let me do the right thing...I really pray for your guidance "

Boys will be Boys...

Alhamdullilah Its Friday.

I realized, that a person can go into temporary insanity when they are really angry about something. I think it happened to me yesterday.

I didn’t know a mother can really lose all her patience all for the sake of protecting her child. I also now know what it feels to forgive someone because she thinks of her children's happiness.

While motherhood is wonderful, it can also be painful. All I want is my husband’s support and understanding to my feelings. Sometimes, some parenting issues can be a small matter to him but not to me because I am the mother. To me, anything concerning my child, concerns me greatly. When someone scolds my child, indirectly that person is scolding me.

At 2 years 3 months, I do admit, yes my son is active, mischievous, inquisitive and loves to explore ways to get attention. He is at the Naughty BUT cute stage. He is not all naughty, he can be so sweet at times. Yesterday he said “ Ummi cryyyyy , Love Ummmmiii”, with his head leaning to one side of me... which heart wont melt kan?

I have done research and these are normal behaviour of a boy.
To scold him each time he comes over and do something naughty is totally out of context and definitely it hurts me a lot, especially at this preggy stage where my harmones are topsy turvy.
As they say, Boys will be Boys.

Yesterday night, Little Habib off the TV while 'that man" was watching it, and despite repeated warnings by that man, Little Habib walked over to off / on the TV. Apa lagi, that man scolded my son lah. He pulled Little Habib away from the TV and gave this stern warning look that scared my son. Even I am scared when I see that look.

2 nights ago, he hit little Habib again, albeit gently on the thighs for sitting on my hubby’s lap while hubby was praying and reading his tahiyat akhir. I did'nt mention anything than. I guess enough was enough for me. My son is only a 2 year old toddler not a 4 year old boy who can start to understand instructions.

So this time, while that man was scolding my son, I pulled Little Habib, carried him up, talked to him firmly but softly on why he should not on/off the TV and walk away from that man, despite that man telling me to leave Little Habib to him.
Ok see, I am the rude one here. If he things that of me, so be it. I cant let him scold or hit my son everytime my son comes over to his place. Even if he meant to discipline the boy, there are other ways to do it and not by scaring the little toddler. I dont know if I can ever understand this generation gap that we have.

Needless to say, after we left, I went literally nuts till my hubby finally understood my point.

So far, we have visited Habib Abbas last weekend and Ustaz Iqbal last night for Hari Raya. My son talked a lot to the 2 ustaz.
They gave my boy the attention maybe cos he talks a lot. They commented that he talks a lot for his age, which they felt was good. If he was quiet, we should be worried.

Little Habib even wanted to beat Habib Abbas. He said “ Nak Bok Habib Abbas ..” Malunyer aku. Nasib, Habib Abbas kata his cicit is around the same age as Little Habib and is also just as naughty. He says "biarkan".

Alhamdullilah, Habib Abbas dapat doa kan Little Habib despite all the struggling Little Habib was doing to get out of hubby’s arms. I also got his doa and for the unborn child too. Habib also agreed on the name we have chosen for our 2nd child. He says it’s a good name. Insya’Allah. Arabs prefer just 1 name.

As for Ustaz Iqbal, I asked him if it was all right to let our son be around us when we pray and should we beat or scold our son if he sits on us or hug us or tug on us when we pray.
Ustaz says, its OK as around this age, they wont understand. If the boy climbs on us when we pray, let it be. Even Rasullulah (saw) experienced that with his grandsons.
The boy will learn when he is older.

But Ustaz did advise that if your kids are naughty and cannot be controlled at the mosque, than there is a hadith where Rasullulah says to keep your children away from the mosque till they understand.
Unless the mother can be sure that the child will not disturb the other jemaah’s than its fine. He recalled one story where he was praying Zohor jamaah prayers at the mosque and a toddler wondered away from his dad and walked all the way to the mimbar, stood on the Khatib's chair and talk on the microphone which happens to be ON by the way! so that disturbed the Jemaah prayers.
Imagine praying zohor and you hear ‘toddler talk’ from the mosque speakers. Must have distracted the jemaahs and Im sure his parents must have had a hard time concentrating on their prayers eager to finish it so that they can take the boy away from the mike!
In that kind of instances, Ustaz advise, its better not bring your kids to the mosque till they are older and more ready.


Innallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

Disciplining Toddlers

At this stage of my life, bringing up a 2 year old toddler in the "terrible 2 Manja phase" and another baby on the way, I am still grappling with the correct methods to discipline my child.

It has always been my concern that only the child's parents and his caregivers have the right to discipline the child especially when it comes to using physical punishment eg Hitting hands.
In Little Habib's case, it should be me and hubster as well as my parents and siblings as we are the ones caring for him since birth. Maybe later on in his life as he gets older, this rule can be change, eg when he has friends or religious teachers who are Alim and mature enough to tell him from right to wrong.
But at THIS stage, I would strictly like to keep it to us and his caregivers as obviously he does not know from right to wrong yet.

Yesterday, after iftar at a relatives house, I shan't mention who, Little Habib was cornered with no where to run and hit on the hands by a male relative as Little Habib had hit the man's daughter while she was praying Magrib prayers. The man's daughter is an 8 year old girl.

I was there in the room busy pinning my headscarf when it happened. Initially when Little Habib hit the girl, I told him dont do that, nicely as kakak is praying. Then he hit again and again ( maybe trying to make kakak stop praying and play with him ),
and the Man came in and saw what happen, so he kept saying "dont beat my daughter" nicely too.

But boys being boys and at that age, maybe loves the attention , so Little Habib gave a hard beat on the girls head once again. "Bok Kakak!" he said and looked at us.

Quickly I left what I was doing to pull Little Habib one side, as I don't want him to do that again, lagipun its embarrassing cos the girl's father was looking. But Little Habib thought that I was maybe going to hit him tried to run out of the room to look for his dad.

That was the part where the man, block the entrance of the door and grab little Habib and beat his hands ( lightly but with a stern face ) and kept repeating " Why you beat my daughter? Why you beat my daughter?" making little Habib so frightened and made him try to squirm out of the man's hands. I was angry at the man, but I kept quiet because I don't want to be disrespectful as the man was my elder.

Finally, Little Habib managed to run out of the room, to my hubbys arms and the man followed my son and kept scolding him, not harsh but in a pestering way. I didnt go near them but I can hear Little Habib saying "Nak Ummi Nak Ummi"... but I still left him with his dad.

To cut the long story short, after we left that relatives house, I don't know why but I felt so guilty for not pulling Little Habib away from that man, and also I watched him struggling out of the man's grip without doing anything and I am angry that my hubby also allow the man to scold our son and I know that my son is naughty but what gives the right for that man to disiplin my son when he is not the caregiver no matter how close he is when it comes to relations?

And when he said " Why you beat my daughter?" , shouldn't it be more of " Dont beat Kakak, cannot sayang" , wouldn't that be better instead ?

I could not really sleep last night so I told hubby that it will be a long while before Little Habib goes to that house again, and hubby says Im being oversensitive and we should let people scold our son if what he has done is wrong. That is his take on the matter, obviously conflicting with mine.

I may be wrong, but my motherly instinct tells me to protect my son no matter what. Am I spoiling him? I don't know... but I feel no matter how naughty my son is, I still have to there for him when he is being cornered by people who is not his caregiver.

Looks like motherhood is a trial and error learning method. I would love to hear what mummys out there feel about this issue though.

: ) Happy Friday and Salaams Syawal, so not in the mood but time has to move no matter what.

Innallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

Ramadhan Blessings ....

Zikir 1st - 10th Ramadhan

Allahummar hamnii, yaa arhamar rohimiin

Ya Allah, kasihanilah aku, wahai Yang Maha Pengasih dari sekelian pengasih

Oh Allah, have sympathy over me, oh The Most Compassionate of all

I dreamt of my ustaz last night, just before I got up for Sahur.
He was dress in white in a white sarban, as always. He was sitting down and he called to me. He asked me if I could face the qiblat in which I did and he put his palms on my head and made doa for me and the baby in my tummy.

As I woke up suddenly and tried to look if it was true, I realized that it was just a dream. I wished it was real.
Ive been thinking of the dream. If it was at all any truth in it, then how did Ustaz know since neither me nor my hubby told him anything about this pregnancy or was it the work of an angel ?

Little Habib is going through the milk phase again !
After months of consistent milk drinking, he has learnt to push the milk bottle once more. Sobz. I cant even give it to him in his sleep. Its back to loads of stress and cup and straw. Sigh…… the perils of motherhood.

Ramadhan Really bring blessings.
Ive found a part time helper. Wooh! She'll help me out with the 1 week load of ironing that I usually do. She is even willing to do other task when she saw that I was pregnant! the only thing is she wont do is clean the windows cos of her fear for hights.

As I watched those programmes shown on Suria about the less fortunate,
I realized that no matter what I go through now and how tough the pregnancy is or how I always say that hubby does not help much in terms of housework, I must cherish that I still have a hubby and we are still healthy and blessed.
I remember the lady and her toddler son at Teban Gardens who lost her hubby to an accident, the one I visited 2 years back… Masya'allah, I wonder how they are now. That memory made me thankful that I still have a husband who sleeps next to me at night, who still ran errands for me, who buys food for me no matter what time it is, who still gives me money, who still prays for me. Thank you Hubby, I love you much !

Ramadhan Blessings…
If only every month brings as much blessings that Ramadhan brings ….

Mother of UFO !

me kissing my little naughty but cute son in the Singapore Flyer.

Alhamdullilah, on the last day of Bulan Sya'aban, a day before the blessed month of Ramadhan greeted us, hubby and me brought our son out for some quality family time. I'm glad I chose to be with my family rather than be somewhere else. GOD has made me make the right decision !

In the morning, we went to Explorer Kids with Little Habib's friends... unfortunately, this time our dear son was clingy and was afraid to go into the maze and kept crying and wanting me by his side. Spoiler..Lucky it was a free ticket...thanks hor Ummu Mukhtaar, next time , we treat Little Mukhtaar for Singapore Flyer.

After a nice lunch at Simpang Bedok with our friends, we went home where the 3 of us "pengsan" and rested.

After magrib, the 3 of us + mum and Massy went to take a ride on the "Mother of UFO" ..... Yeah, thats what Littel Habib calles the Singapore Flyer...

We had so much fun.....Little Habib enjoyed it so much.. The scenery at night was Sooooo much better ! I dont recommend day flights....

Little Habib can spot the water ( singapore river ) from way up there ! He ran around the capsule and entertained us and the others in there...He loved the scenery, and hubby and me really enjoyed looking at him.....Im so happy that my son is happy.... Alhamdullilah...He is starting to understand things..its makes going on outings much more fun !

We brought my mum along. I was glad my mum enjoyed the ride, and that Little Habib was happy going out with his Dadima... May Allah (swt) grant my mum a long and heathly life. I love her so much, I relish every minute we get to spend together !

Explorer Kids@Ehub Pasir Ris

Went to Explorer Kids with Ummu Mukhtaar and family @ Ehub last Saturday morning, and good golly did we all have fun !

It was an unplanned trip, and since we had nothing much to do for 2 hours or so after our breakfast, we decided to join our good friends for their trip to explorer kids. I was set to just sit and watch cos of my coughing, and Hubby was game to bring Little Habib around...

Little Habib and Hubby enjoyed it so much, and by the end of the hour, they were sweating from all the climbing, running, sliding......
So cute..Little Habib was screaming at me from up the maze to look at him, and at the end, he came to me and said " tired...tired...."

We're already planning our next trip there.. probably bringing my mum and sis along the next time...and we're going to sign up for membership too. We love seeing our son happy.. well who doesn't kan... ?

When we reach home, both dad and son practically "pengsan" to sleep...exhausted ! Same goes for Abi Mukhtaar and his kiddos...

Thanks Ummu/Abi Mukhtaar and for introducing us to this place... :) May Allah Bless your family.

Things I like about Explorer Kids :

* Its cold

* Washrooms, diaper changing areas are clean

* No shoes, Just socks

* Clean and must sanitize hands before playing

* Not too bright

* Fun Fair Carnival Atmosphere

I guess, I'll let the pictures do the talking.... ; )

Little Habib wearing Argentina Jersey, stopping by one of the shops...

Hubby and son in the maze

They went all the way up and slide down the slippery slide !

"Hi Ummi..join me lah"

Having fun with Mukhtaar and Zainah in the ball pool

" Wow best nyer !!! " Little Habib even pretended to swim in the ball pool.

"The Bujang and the Dara"...hee hee...

Bapak Budak pulak try wall climbing

Actually, when I was sitting alone watching my son and hubby play in the maze, I felt v peaceful and really, being together with people I love is really what I feel comfortable with, rather than being with a crowd which I don't fit well in.

*

And Being with my friends, whom I respect for the way they lead their lifestyle was more than a blessing for me, rather than being with people whose lifestyle, I cannot comprehend...

*

This is me.... call me an introvert or anti social... I don't care...truly.

*

Wasallam.

The Lift...

I was blogging about how terrible I feel and whining and whining how I want some ME time.... but in the end, I deleted everything cos "ME time" just sounds so selfish to me. I guess there are just some things that I can only tell my hubby or to our creator Allah (swt).

At this moment, I regret dressing shabbily on a Monday, it just worsens the Monday Blues. My back is aching, calves strained , brain tired and emotionally drained. Insya'allah, tomorrow will be a better day.

So bloggy, let me tell you one of the more interesting happenings of the last weekend. Yeah, there were many, but this one takes the cake - My dear son got trapped in the lift albeit for a split second.

Yeah..I know...Gasp.... Can you imagine my fear or even his ?

I read from a fellow sister's blog not too long ago about how her boy got trapped in a lift alone and the lift went up and her boy was like 6 years old, but still he cried. That was scary enough.

Well, It happened when we were going out of my in law's flat to go home that afternoon. MIL and hubby were outside the narrow corridor talking. Hubby at the same time was tying his shoe lace.

Little Habib had his shoes on before he stepped out of the flat, and he dash along the corridor to the lift landing on the same floor cos he was already familiar with the area.

I was slowly walking out of the flat with my tummy in tow, and FIL was behind me looking at all of us leaving.

Just then, I saw Little Habib running to the lift lobby very fast, and in my heart, I just felt something not right, as if we would be so unlucky and the lift door would be OPEN for him to enter. My instinct told me to rush and I rush to my boy while the others were oblivious to what happen and chatting.

As soon as I reach the lift landing, I saw the door close, I didnt get to see who is in the lift but I cant find Little Habib outside of the lift area !!!! ( this lift is an old , non upgraded kind of life with no openings to see who is inside )

So he must be inside right ?! I suddenly remember Kak Sri's boy, and I screamed " Abang!!! " and press the lift button.

The lift door was going up, but it jerked.....and the door opened....Little Habib was already screaming in tears with is hands up in the air like he was hysterical. I rushed in to hug him and then he quietened down upon the sight of me. Alhamdullilah, OH Allah, I cant be more thankful.

I was so lost for words, when hubby, FIL and MIL came rushing.

The sickening funny part is when they realised that Little Habib was safe, they all smile, laugh and thought how cute he was to explore the lift alone. Of cos, I did not find it funny, too lost for words, heart beating so fast and all I could do was stare hard at my son for being so mischievous to go in the lift alone and how I took it for granted to not hold on to him. I guess, such is the feeling only an UMMI would feel.

I mean, I was angry with myself for giving him the trust to be on his own without holding on to him, but I'm the one pregnant and slow here. And kids beings kids....

So this is definitely a lesson for me. We, parents, learn something new everyday as our child grows.

Just when you think he is so cute, he can really make my breath stop for a second.
*shakes head and trying to smile*

Milk and Feeding

Alhamdullilah, I noticed a great improvement in Little Habib’s milk woes. He now drinks milk from his Pigeon Bottle, without being forced too.

Alhamdullilah, Allah (swt) has open up his taste buds to accept milk. I am thankful eventhough he does not drink the normal milk ( as it HAS to be chocolate flavoured milk ), he is still getting Calcium in his body.

Little Habib drinks 2 scoops of Dumex plus a little Magnolia fresh Chocolate milk or Milo amounting to 6 Oz or 150 ML around 6.30 am and before he sleeps at my house.
He will also drink 2 Scoops of Pediasure Chocolate milk amounting to 6 Oz or 150 ML around 11am and 5pm at his grandparents place.
All in all, he drinks milk at least 4 times a day and although at his age, his milk intake should be more than 6 Oz, I am still thankful cos before this, he will NOT even accept the taste of milk in his mouth and there was a few months that he went without drinking milk.

Hubby, Me , Mum have all doaed a lot for our Little Habib to accept milk, to open his Nafsu to drink milk, to be like other kids who love milk and Alhamdullilah, things have improved.

As for food wise, its like a cat and mouth chase. He will eat rice today but not tomorrow and the pattern continues.

My Dad or me are his 'official' rice feeder and mum has not manage to feed him sucessfuly yet and he still does not want the helper to feed him. Thank GOD, dad has retired.

On days when he don’t eat his dinner well, I try and remind Dad not to get stress and that we will try again tomorrow. If he refuse to eat, there is nothing we can do. We did try to beat his legs or show him the belt to scare him, but if he refuse, he will simply trow out the food…..Its his say, not us.

The thing is I am no so worried as before because he takes in Pediasure, which has many good vitamins, minerals and most importantly the Cal-Mag combi.

For Breakfast, he loves fries and sometimes hotdogs. Sometimes abit of Eggs, but Fries are a sure winner. I have also tried feeding him nasi lemak or cheese prata during the weekends and will manage to get about 10 mouthful in before he stops eating.

For Lunch and Dinner, Patato balls, carrots , papedoom are his main items mix with rice, abit of fish or chicken… When no rice gets in because he simply refuse, we try bread and honey and cheese as the alternative. This usually works.

I’ll try and feed him some fruits if there’s any at home. Yesterday mum told me he has a few bites of Durians. The day before, he ate ½ a banana and some rambutan bits. At least some fibre for his bowels.

I really am thankful to GOD who has made our feeding woes diminish slightly and Insya’allah, Im certain it will get better over time as he gets bigger and understand instructions.

“ La hawla wa laquwatta illa billahi l-’Aliyyi l-’Adhim.”
The power belongs to Allah and He lets the humanbeing borrow this attribute as long as He has decreed that they may have it and if He wants, He takes if from them.
The Rasul, sallallahu alayhi wa sallem, said, ‘You want something and Allah wants something, and what you want is not what Allah wants but what Allah wants will certainly come.’

Khalas....

Pediasure Chocolate and bread...

Alhadullilah, we have all put in more effort in feeding him every opportunity we get, not much, but Im thankful when mum told me he drank Pediasure chocolate milk 4 xs yesterday...

He does not want the new helper yet, but is slowly warming up..so we all still do the feeding.... even when we are dead beat from work....

Since he does not eat much for dinner, we try and feed him bread and honey before he goes to sleep, cos he likes honey..... then its either fresh milk or again, 2 scoops of chocolate Pediasure...
I managed to buy a small tin at Cold Storage Siglap....

Next time, have to buy the Big tin... not cheap..not cheap.... but for the sake of drinking milk kan...

Hubby feeding Little Habib wholemeal bread and honey while I cheer him on......the joys and trials of being parents...

Dosent he look like a big boy here ?.........cheeky boy.....

Little Habib with his favourite 'talking' POOH bear.....