Alhamdullilah Its Friday.
I realized, that a person can go into temporary insanity when they are really angry about something. I think it happened to me yesterday.
I didn’t know a mother can really lose all her patience all for the sake of protecting her child. I also now know what it feels to forgive someone because she thinks of her children's happiness.
While motherhood is wonderful, it can also be painful. All I want is my husband’s support and understanding to my feelings. Sometimes, some parenting issues can be a small matter to him but not to me because I am the mother. To me, anything concerning my child, concerns me greatly. When someone scolds my child, indirectly that person is scolding me.
At 2 years 3 months, I do admit, yes my son is active, mischievous, inquisitive and loves to explore ways to get attention. He is at the Naughty BUT cute stage. He is not all naughty, he can be so sweet at times. Yesterday he said “ Ummi cryyyyy , Love Ummmmiii”, with his head leaning to one side of me... which heart wont melt kan?
I have done research and these are normal behaviour of a boy.
To scold him each time he comes over and do something naughty is totally out of context and definitely it hurts me a lot, especially at this preggy stage where my harmones are topsy turvy.
As they say, Boys will be Boys.
Yesterday night, Little Habib off the TV while 'that man" was watching it, and despite repeated warnings by that man, Little Habib walked over to off / on the TV. Apa lagi, that man scolded my son lah. He pulled Little Habib away from the TV and gave this stern warning look that scared my son. Even I am scared when I see that look.
2 nights ago, he hit little Habib again, albeit gently on the thighs for sitting on my hubby’s lap while hubby was praying and reading his tahiyat akhir. I did'nt mention anything than. I guess enough was enough for me. My son is only a 2 year old toddler not a 4 year old boy who can start to understand instructions.
So this time, while that man was scolding my son, I pulled Little Habib, carried him up, talked to him firmly but softly on why he should not on/off the TV and walk away from that man, despite that man telling me to leave Little Habib to him.
Ok see, I am the rude one here. If he things that of me, so be it. I cant let him scold or hit my son everytime my son comes over to his place. Even if he meant to discipline the boy, there are other ways to do it and not by scaring the little toddler. I dont know if I can ever understand this generation gap that we have.
Needless to say, after we left, I went literally nuts till my hubby finally understood my point.
So far, we have visited Habib Abbas last weekend and Ustaz Iqbal last night for Hari Raya. My son talked a lot to the 2 ustaz.
They gave my boy the attention maybe cos he talks a lot. They commented that he talks a lot for his age, which they felt was good. If he was quiet, we should be worried.
Little Habib even wanted to beat Habib Abbas. He said “ Nak Bok Habib Abbas ..” Malunyer aku. Nasib, Habib Abbas kata his cicit is around the same age as Little Habib and is also just as naughty. He says "biarkan".
Alhamdullilah, Habib Abbas dapat doa kan Little Habib despite all the struggling Little Habib was doing to get out of hubby’s arms. I also got his doa and for the unborn child too. Habib also agreed on the name we have chosen for our 2nd child. He says it’s a good name. Insya’Allah. Arabs prefer just 1 name.
As for Ustaz Iqbal, I asked him if it was all right to let our son be around us when we pray and should we beat or scold our son if he sits on us or hug us or tug on us when we pray.
Ustaz says, its OK as around this age, they wont understand. If the boy climbs on us when we pray, let it be. Even Rasullulah (saw) experienced that with his grandsons.
The boy will learn when he is older.
But Ustaz did advise that if your kids are naughty and cannot be controlled at the mosque, than there is a hadith where Rasullulah says to keep your children away from the mosque till they understand.
Unless the mother can be sure that the child will not disturb the other jemaah’s than its fine. He recalled one story where he was praying Zohor jamaah prayers at the mosque and a toddler wondered away from his dad and walked all the way to the mimbar, stood on the Khatib's chair and talk on the microphone which happens to be ON by the way! so that disturbed the Jemaah prayers.
Imagine praying zohor and you hear ‘toddler talk’ from the mosque speakers. Must have distracted the jemaahs and Im sure his parents must have had a hard time concentrating on their prayers eager to finish it so that they can take the boy away from the mike!
In that kind of instances, Ustaz advise, its better not bring your kids to the mosque till they are older and more ready.
Innallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56