Words from my Heart....

Since our smart and efficient helper left 3 weeks ago, our lives have been going through an emotional roller coaster. 

Firstly, we definitely had separation anxiety with her. Secondly, the new helper has been rather terrible, making things even more worse. Not that I want to compare them, but really, we need a helper with the basic intelligence of helper knowledge.....

I guess, asides from going to the agency to choose another helper, all that we can do now is to go through each day at a time. 

Unfortunately, its has been everyday that the helper makes some sort of mistakes. Some are small mistakes and some are really big ones. I can tell her IQ is not as high as our previous helper, and her confidence level is rather low too. She seems to have redden eyes all the time, and I have been telling her to be strong and not to be scared as I wont eat her up!!....I wont you know, I'm rather nice to these helpers.....I know what they go through to get here. All I am asking for is effort and sincerity in taking care of the kids and household. 

Its bad enough she cant handle the kids activeness...She seems to be confuse all the time. I keep having to pull her aside for a pep talk every now and then to give her encouragement to survive...... 

and I thought I was the soft one here!

I don't wanna write about her mistakes. It has been rather horrific but thankfully the kids are OK despite getting less attention and love from the helper. Ive chosen another helper. She will come end of December.... 

May God Help us, cos really, its wearing me down. She cant handle the kids, so I have to handle them when I'm at home. And me being always tired, is feeling extra tired and stress cos I don't really get the full assistance that I used to get....

You know, sometimes I wish I can be a housewife, than I wont have to face maid problems...

But I cant...I cant... He wont let me... he don't think I can be a good Housewife, he don't think I can survive.... and we need the extra income......the car has been important to us.....a real big help. 

Abang didn't really do well in K1. His school system is rather competitive...There are really smart kids in his class now, unlike the previous school. He didn't do well in Iqra too. He is smart by Lazy they say. 

Hubby has been losing his patients these days...Ive never seen him this stress. We've been fighting. Ive been trowing things......i feel better when I throw things. I trow things at my cupboard.....so there is a loud thud, and my hubby knows I'm serious....*shakes head*..... Its been a long while since we both behave this way.....

and The days goes by bloggy, I hope to hold my sanity for the sake of my kids.....my face, just looks tired.... just as I was starting to enjoy life and be positive. 

and........I pray it will be better tomorrow.