As I layed my head to rest on the sejadah,
my eyes shut, tears flowing, as I recalled my nightmarish experience of the day.
I sujud to GOD for some time, weeping to him, then I gave salaams and seek his forgiveness for I felt very much like a failure.
Sometimes, when Abang Misbehaves in public, and I cannot control his activeness and stubbornness,
I feel lost, and ashamed.
I dont know why... Sometimes, when he is too excited,
He misbehaves and even my scolding or beating him does not work.
So I have to remove him from where he is misbehaving.
Adik, my little angel, just have to go along with us.
Sometimes, when we are out shopping, we have to go back as soon as we bought the things we need, cos Abang is simply not behaving well.
Sometimes when we are at the mosque for Isyak prayers, we have to jump into the car and drive off as soon as prayers are over cos Abang is well, running around the mosque, laughing loudly, as if, its his house.
Yes, kids will be kids, but sometimes, the place to be kids is just not appropriate.
I have self banned him and myself from our normal mosque, until he learns to behave himself when he is in it.
I am waiting for the day, where he will learn to behave himself when he is outside.
Sometimes, I feel so frustrated of Abang's misbehaving, that I cry when I lecture him.
He does not understands...
cos he will tell me " Abang, good boy..."