Last 10 days ...

Zikir 21th - end of Ramadhan

Allahumma atiqni minan-nar wa-adkhilni jannataka Ya Rabbal-a-lamin Birah-matika-

Ya-Arhamar-ra-himin

Ya Allah, Bebaskan aku daripada Api Neraka dan masukkan aku ke dalam Syurga.

Dengan Rahmat Engkau Ya Tuhan Seru Sekalian Alam,

Kerana Engkau sajalah yang dapat memberi Rahmat.

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Eid is coming... fast and furious, I keep telling myself, Naz, last 10 days..make full use of it...cos if this is your last Ramadhan, than you are the biggest loser cos you didnt make full use of the blessings given in this month.

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Insya'allah... the feeling of want to get closer to GOD is even greater. Y ?

Because, the house is clean, everything else is set, green packets $ is ready, zakat is given, Fitrah and Fidyah is paid, new clothes have been bought, carpets have been washed, windows have been cleaned and tomorrow, I'll fix new bedsheets.

Alhamdullilah, I managed to pay a helper to wash the windows and clean the house for me and she has done a good job, so I dont have to freak out about spring cleaning,alone in this state.

As usual, I dont bake, so 1 less thing to worry about..I should be getting my cookies delivered to me soon.

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Ive been feeling very lonely...

Everytime, I feel that way, I think of Allah (swt) and that I am not alone because Allah (swt) is watching me. Hubby has been sick, thus I seriously feel neglected.

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Ive handled pretty much everything alone, I am the mummy and I am the daddy to Little Habib. Hubby dont really talk cos he prefers to keep quiet cos he lost his voice because of the cough...

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I miss our conversations, I miss discussing things with him.... I could just cry.... must be the pregnancy harmones.

One night, 2 days back, his fever rose up to nearly 40 degrees, and I had to sponge him with ice, and even the ice melted really fast, and after that alone in the room, I just broke down cos I was thinking what if I lose him ? And I felt that I could never find a better man than him. Ahhh see, only when you have to lose something, than you feel that the thing is valuable to you kan....

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Contrary to his father, Little Habib have been giving me alot of attention.

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He is just so sweet and me getting to spend a few days leave last week was really a blessing.

I got to feed him, bath him, put him to sleep in the afternoon, and have long conversations with him. These are things that I only normally get to do only in the weekend.

How nice it would be if I could spend my days doing this....

but I cant complain. The pay cheque at the end of the month is still important to me.

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At over 2 years of age, Little Habib is talkative, more like a parrot. He likes to repeat what I say. Its really funny cos when Im on the line with someone, and he is beside me, he will repeat my conversations eg " ah ah, tu lah , yar yar betul Mak Uchu" ... He can really follow the way I talk !

We can both converse together and its amazing that he is starting to understand what I say to him, and he loves it when I tell him bedtime stories... stories which I make up, just to get him to drink his milk.

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He can count 'One to Ten' and 'Satu to Sepuluh', say Monday all the way to Sundays, learning his ABCs, and are really into Aeroplanes, I wonder if he will be a Pilot one day ?

I also noticed he loves engineering tools and is very interested in mechanical stuff like The Singapore Flyer.

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He sleeps under my armpit, rains hugs and kisses on me and loves singing the Selawat Ummi with me every night. Yes, he can actually sing Selawat Ummi from start to finish. One day, He kept singing the verse " Muhammad Bin Abu Bakar Wawatun-ikan Ummi" and I kept thinking what is it he is saying???...and in the end, I cracked the code when we were singing Selawat Ummi before he sleeps...It was actually part of the verse " Muhammadin Abdika, Warasul likan Nabiyyi Ummi..... " !!!!

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Anyway, that aside, Of cos, he is also very naughty around his grandparents on both sides and I am trying to disipline him when we are out of the house.

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As much as I am trying to avoid, the day will come insya'allah for me to give birth to my second baby, and Im wondering how Little Habib will cope with this change given the amount of attention we have showered him over the past 2 years.

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Will he grow up and assume his role as a bigger brother, or will he become a spoil brat and refuse to acknowledge his sibling?

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May Allah (swt) make the future path easy for me and my family. Rabbi Yassir wala Tu' Assir. Amiin Ya Rabbal Alamin.