Project Discipline have taken off ever since it dawned on me that I have to start early when it comes to evaluating Little Habib's behaviour.
*** Thanks to all mummies who have replied me and emailed me. I have read all of them more than twice and am more clear now.
Before this, Ive always thought that my baby was too young to even begin behaving well, and him being the only child, I rarely notice his anti social behaviour. I was caught up with bringing him to mosque, meeting Habibs and being close spiritually that I forgot that all this is not possible if I don't instill disipline.
Only lately, after mixing him with Toddler Muktaar, Auni , and other kids around, it was rather apparent that he dont understand the word SHARE and he'd rather play on his own , being caught up in exploring his surroundings. Its interesting to watch cos you see his eyes moving around and its like his brains are working as a fast speed on what to do next, which toy to pick , and whats the next interesting thing he can bite !
* Little Habib has always been friendly and cuddley to us, his closest family, his grandparents too but never was he a smiley baby to others unless he has warmed up. Ummu Nabil once said that my baby's smile was really expensive cos she seldoms see him smile compared to her baby Nabil ( remember ? )
Well, a talk with my mom revealed something interesting but might not be related. My mum said that when I was a toddler, I was also like little Habib. I dont like to share my toys, I seldom smile to outsiders and heck, I even throw sand at the eyes of another toddler who attempted to be friend me at the playground ! So could Little Habib inherit his Ummi's childhood behavior ??
Also another point to note was that when I was pregnant with Little Habib, my Hubby said that he wanted our son to be garang in character like Saidinah Omar R.A... so could his doa be Makbul ? .. ok, maybe Im out of point here...
* Second point is, as many of the other mummies mention, Little Habib is the only child to working parents. So he will naturally be selfish, and crave for attention, hence the shouting when he wants his ways.
As much as I agree on that, I will not give up that one day, he will outgrow this and change to be the sweetest man. Here's a true encounter ; Hubby and I were discussing this issue last few nights. My hubby said that its does not mean a child with a full-time mother will turn out good and vise versa. Like in Tasawwuf, there are many ways to reach one's destination. With alot of doa, and always finding whatever time we have with little Habib to behave properly, insya'allah, Little Habib will turn out right. I was rather scepticle as I felt that compared to full time mummies, I was at a losing end so Hubby said, he will find me an example. After that meaningful discussion at Mak's place, we proceeded to solat Isyak at Masjid Kassim.
Lo and behold! as if Allah swt wanted to send me a message, at the masjid itself, Hubby met his friend whom we both always admire for being Alim and smart, ( NTU ) student by the way. We found out that his mum is working full-time eversince he was a baby and until now. He said that having full time mothers does not mean that the baby will turn out way wards. Its how you bring the child up, the values you impart when you are with the child. Hubby was happy that he could find me an example. Hubby pointed out that as long as we do our best, show him the right examples, show him how to be close to Allah, and insya'allah, he will remember his parents for being rightous and he will turn out fine.
As for me, I can only doa that Little Habib grows up with full of iman and good knowledge and do my best even as a full time working mother.
Seriously, I want Little Habib to grow up saying that he admires his Ummi for helping his Abah maintaining the financial stability as well as cope with housework and parenting. ( i can't quit my job as long as my hubby dont give me permission to ) ....Its not easy, but with the right intention, I hope Allah (swt) helps me, HE knows best.. I can sense that there is already help. Looks at how many good friends I have that are willing to share parenting tips with me !
* Thirdly, Kids will be kids, and they tend to like to explore. My neighbour ( an alim Indonesian expat ) reasonly told me that the reason our kids are not creative because as parents, we always says NO to this and NO to that and Dont Touch this and Dont go there etc. In a way, he is right. I want to give Little Habib the freedom of exploring, as long as there is a watchful eye on him.
* I have started to pinch him and 'kuti' his fingers when he misbehaves in the car or if he touch the switch board and he does not like it, sometimes he looks down and sad. It breaks my heart too, but I have too no matter how mean I seemed. I take this from Ummu Nabil who has a good firmed character but soft at times.
* Last point that I need to express in my post is something what my friend Ummu Mukhtaar say in her sms to me today. I was telling her that Little Habib loves attention and he is very clingy to me and hubby that sometimes I wish my baby would be more independent. And Ummu Mukhtaar said something to the effect that " do treasure his clingyness now, because when he grows up, and is independent, we will miss their attention. It will be the other way around. "
Oh bloggy... Little Habib is a boy, and boys tend to be independent, going out of the house to seek knowledge and spending more time in the masjid..so where does that leave me, his Ummi ? Gosh, I feel like crying !!
" Little Habib, if you grow up and ever chance upon this post, then Ummi hope you understand how much I love you, eventhough Ummi leaves you for work, Ummi tries my best to put interest in your life and at you are always important in Ummi and Abah's life "
meantime, Project disipline still continues....