Feeling very emotional lately.... you know that kind of crying feeling in the heart. Guess Im just a born worrier....
I try to communicate with Allah (swt) when Im alone, maybe its time too that I visit Habib Abbas and maybe have a chat with his wife.
Sometimes, visiting orang Alim and listening to them or even just looking at their saintly faces helps. Maybe I should visit Maqam Hb Nuh alone ( if I can find the time )..I just want to be near the walis.
I try not not let my emotions affect my son, cos he's just so cute and he just amazes me with his cute little voice. He talking more now.
Just this morning, he called "ummi ummi ummi" when he was in his room. He never did that before. If he wanted me, he would cry. If he wanted Abah, he will call out " Babaa Babaa Babaa"....
I somehow know why Im feeling this emotional. I know the reason...Its bad for me you know but still I cant help it.
Why do I keep depending on others when Ive learnt time and time again that Allah (swt) is the best of planner and the best place for me to depend on is in HIS hands.
Y am I so weak ? Y do I always wish to remain patient and cry it to myself later ?
Ada ke sama orang yang berilmu dari orang yang takde Ilmu ? I always ask myself that.
Sometimes, I talk to my mum. Though she is one angel who always makes things better, I dont want her to worry much.
Sometimes, relationship wise , Cousin Rei and Cousin Tanti lend me their ears.
For more complicated cases, Mak Uchu gives good advise.
Ummu Mukhtaar helps me alot with baby and toddlers woes,
Ummu Nabil always have something quirky to say and lightened the mood ( wish u guys can read her blog, she just so intelligent and evil at the same time..haha )
Ihsan and my Hubby gives good Islamic motivations....I love all my close friends for Allah's sake.
There's a few more peops that are very concern over me and Im really greatful actually. Its like Im not alone, But I AM alone.. make sense ?
This could be a sign that I have to do more spiritually. I have a few maulids schedule in my sms which Ummu Mukhtaar have sent me, but Im too lazy to post them here. Anyway, Ihsan has listed the schedule in her blog.
I dont think I will be going to Ba'alwie. Its always so crowded, and I dont think I can sit in 1 position for a few hours cos of my current back ache. Insya'allah, Hubby will attend. Dont think I will attend the maulid / Haul at Maqam Hb Nuh too, too crowded, Im scared that I'll get breathless. Just yesterday at Masjid Mydin's maulid, I felt so breathless but managed to calm myself down.
Insya'allah, hubby will also try to attend Shaykh Umar's haul at masjid Khalid.
Insya'allah, I wish to attend the Maulid at Ustaz's Salleh's function this Sunday. Masjid Darul Aman too is having a big Maulid with Habib Hasan Al-Aattas as one of the speakers on that day.
Not everything is bad though, ....
I can see our Little Habib expanding his social skills and the kids at the mosque simple love to welcome and play with him now. They even tell me to not forget to come on Thursdays and Fridays cos they want to play with him. Hee..So cute.. Play dates at the mosque !
p/s.. Thanks to Ummu Nabil for designing my blog Header. She personalised it for me lehz....When no one else was willing to do it for me, she offered without me asking ! Every good deed will be blessed my friend.
I know,Im so kental, sampai blog header also dont know how to do... i am actually, not artistic at all..... tsk.