I begin with - Al fateha

Thursday, January 10, 2008

1429H @ Masjid Khalid

Alhamdullilah, we have reach the year 1429 according to our Islamic Calender.

We spentd the last moments of 1428H and welcoming the new year at Masjid Khalid. I always joked that my hubby and his friends will play Dam there. Well they do, they all look forward to Allaudin's Briyani Dam everytime its Masjlis Israk Mikraj, Nisfu Sya'abaan and Majlis Maal Hijrah. I would rather go to other mosques, where at least I can see farmiliar faces, but hubby usually insist that I go there too, so that I can enjoy the Briyani.
( Why do I have a feeling Little Habib will grow up with that ideology too? " Beribadah sambil menikmati Briyani Dam kind of attitude. " )

By the time we reached the mosque at 6.30pm, it was packed. Alhamdullilah, I still managed to get a spot inside to solah.

The jemaah read tahlil. Around 7pm, together with Hj Tahir the imam, we read the doa Akhir Tahun 3 times, asking Allah ( swt ) to forgive our pass year's sins and that we seek blessings and we repent. The air in the masjid was so "holy"... Masya'allah. We continued with Magrib prayers and then read the doa Awal Tahun 3 times.

The masjlis continued with a syarahan by an ustaz, a student of Habib Abbas.

Ustaz started off by saying whatever amalan we do must be Ikhlas. Only then will it be accepted by Allah ( swt ).
Then he mentions that Hijrah means to move, berpindah from Mecca to Medinah. Not that Rasullulah (swt) was scared. Remember, at gua Hiraq, Rasullulah told Saidinah Abu Bakar (r.a)... " Dont be scared. Dont be sad. Allah is with us ".

Then somehow the ustaz change the topic to " How to bring up our children to be good muslims in today's society. " ...

It was then I understood why I landed in Masjid Khalid rather than the other masjid. It was most probably because Allah ( swt ) wanted me to listen and apply it on my son.

When Ustaz spoke on and on, tears just stain my cheeks silently. I really dont know if I can guide Little Habib to have the qualities that our prophet (saw) possesed.

It was then I know, that parenting is not all about birthday parties with a theme.
It was not about buying your kids the best toys.
It was about how do u lead him to be a righteous Muslim. Sometimes... I get "Parenting" all mixed up.
Earlier in the day, I had stumbled on a blog which showed somebody's kid having a grand birthday party with a theme and I wondered sadly if me and hubby are the most boring people when we celebrated our baby's 1 year birthday with a doa selamat and even where there were 2 cakes, we did not have a candle blowing ceremony due to our own reasons.

I guess the answer is within me. Let me live the way I want and let them live the way they want and I just pray that Im not affected especially when it comes to bringing up our children... ( hmm make sense ? )

Back to what Ustaz said ....

* Parents are like Architecs. Parents are the ones to plan and mould the child's character.

* Parenting starts from the day a couple becomes husband and wife, the night they consumate, before that, the couple must read the doa before "jumping in the act", so that if it results in the wife getting pregnant, at least we know Setan was not involve in the making of the child.

* Give the child Ilmu from the time they are born. Rasullulah ( saw ) said "carilah ilmu dari buayan hingga ke liang lahat ". We must teach our children to put the ilmu in their hearts. Ilmu is Nur. Dont put it on their heads. Their sarbans will get bigger and bigger and they will be big headed. They will fall as its too heavy. Put it in their hearts.

* Dont teach our children to lie. Sometimes we do it unaware. Eg, when the child is crying, we say "eh look aeroplane aeroplane." When the child look, we say "aiyah aeroplane dah go away." Just to stop the child from crying. But indirectly, we are teaching our child to lie. ( oops Im guilty of that...I always say " look cat cat.." to distract him .. but actually no cat ! ... oops )

* Teach our child Ilmu Tauhid. Tauhid is knowing Allah ( swt ). When they know Allah ( swt ), their aqidah will be strong. When we go to the beach, dont just play and not take any lessons from it. Tell our child, " look at the fishes, they live in the sea for many years, but still their flesh are not salty. Y ? Its the power of Allah ( swt )...."

* After our child is 21, we must learn to let go of our sons. Let them go in search of Ilmu in Alazhar, or Tareem. Dont hold on to them. ( hmm... still dont know if I can do this when the time comes .. insya'allah )

* Teach our child the values of Rasullulah ( saw ). Rasullulah (saw ) always look at the people below him. He always help the poor. Rasullulah (saw) never think of himself. Even on his deathbed, he was muttering " ummati..ummati.. ummati... " He thinks of his people. In the Tahiyat, Rasullulah says " Salaams atas hamba2 yang soleh " ....

* Ustaz says as parents, we should not compeate with other parents. Dont compeate. Compeating, ending up in rivalry are only the signs of Kiamat.

* Ustaz says Remember, we are all slaves of Allah ( swt ). " Ingatlah, aku lah hamba Allah yang paling hina. " ..

When we have that thinking, Insy'Allah, our hearts will be clean and we can be good people.


Salaams Muharram !


Ummu Mukhtaar said...

Salaam Ummi,

Muharram Mubarak! Thank you for putting up the details of the syarahan especially in terms of parenting. Upon reflecting, there are so many things that I did "wrong", i.e. not encouraged in bringing up our kids. Ini baru 2 tahun and so "wrong" things I did that indirectly instill in Mukhtaar. Jahil betullah kita ini.

Semoga dengan tahun baru ini, kita tanamkan semangat untuk menjadi ibu bapa Islam yang lebih baik daripada tahun-tahun yang lepas. Ameen.

Ummi said...


Alhamdullilah.... Thanks for giving me the semangat tu untuyk berjuang menjadi ibu bapa yang pentingkan akhlaq nabawiya.
semoga anak2 kita membesar dengan Iman dan Taqwa. Ameen.

the woman said...


Ummi, I can so relate to your entry.
(The bit on "having a feeling habib will grow up with that idealogy... and the birthday party)

Really, I always think that whatever I do, my children will do the same thing in future. So, if its a bad thing, then surely taubah comes to mind.

And to be honest with you, having 3 kids, till today, none of them had a cake blowing ceremony. Its always a simple one with family etc. You didn't give me a reason why, but I will tell you why I don't quite approve of the cake blowing.. its only because I don't want to follow the westerners. And at the same time, fire represents shaitan. And also, I don't like to be having so much fun on birthdays, I'd rather see my children pray on time, thank allah they lived an extra year and make duas on their birthday. That's me.

I'm sorry for being longwinded. Had the urge to comment and I did.

Have a pleasant weekend Ummi.

Ihsan said...

Salaam. A very good entry indeed...reminds us of so many things even for us who don't have kids. Lovin bryani dam also okay...asalkan sampai destinasi sudah...U now now I speak much more Malay...haha...so weird lah

Ummi's BLOG said...

Salaams to "the woman"...
Masya'allah..we are alike in that cake-blowing thing.
Im afraid to write it down on my blog for fear of anyone saying "she thinks she's a saint !" ( cos im not )
But seriously Im so glad u said it.. Makes me know that Im not alone.
Rasullulah (saw) or Islam never preach cake-blowing...
and its a western tradition rite. So me and my hubby says that the most impt thing thing is doa selamat and those things that you mention, for our child to be a solehin/soleha... Insya'allah.

thanks for your comment !

Ummi's BLOG said...

Salaams Pal...

I know lah loving briyani dam is ok tapi kan, no other mosque will do lah for him on such occasions..so I guess you know where I'll be on those nights..haha..

Yar I noticed.. must be the work environment influencing you kan...To have an office beside a mosque can be a v v good thing. and not to mention "makan" is so easy over there. : )

azizzah said...

Salam Ma'al Hijrah to Ummi & Family. :D

Anonymous said...

Salam Ummi:)

When I read your blog kan, i really can relate to your intentions very well. I understand how tiring it can be, to bring your son over to the mosque after a LOOOONG day at work, but we do it for berkat. I understand how we must remind ourselves that we are still EXTREMELY GOOD PARENTS especially when we don't succumb to the masses' ideologies of lavishness. i am with you babe, insya allah and sometimes when i find myself straying, i will read your old blog entries and reflect and silently thank Allah that amongst the hundred blogs that I have read, you are indeed one of the fine gems.;)
muahz to u and habib!

nad @ mybabysbreath

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum ummu habib.
Just want to leave a comment after reading your entries. Masya Allah, your husband is really lucky to have you as a wife and you are also very lucky to have him as your husband. May both of you have a blissful marriage all your life and may your little habibs and habibahs (future?) grow up to be solihin and solehah.
Speaking from a husband's point of view, it is not easy to encourage the wife to follow religious classes that's been conducted at our local mosques. And to see (read actually) that both you and your husband do travel to wherever mosque just to listen to these alim ulama which is already a good deed, really inspires me to encourage my wife more. And when you type out whatever that you've learnt from these classes, masya allah.
Anyway, with this new hijrah, I'm making doa may Allah open my wife's heart to see "light" in frequenting the mosque (at least once a week for a start) to attend religious classes, insya allah.

And perhaps i could tempt her with offering her the good massage by the lady that you reported. Care to give her details to me?

Finally, may you being respectful towards your husband brings reward in this life and hereafter. Amin.

Ummi's BLOG said...

Salaams Zizah,
Salaams Maal Hijrah to you and family. Hope yr parents dah selamat balik dari tanah suci. : )

Salaams Nad,
oh my, thanks dear...didnt thought of my blog as a "fine gem".. just wrote my feelings down and hoping to spread abit of encourangement to working mothers to focus on the ukrawi part of parenting..

Im sure u and Fad are good parents too..considering Little Hassan might follow his father's footsteps in reading the maulid. ( quick say Ameen ..hehe.. )

Ummi's BLOG said...

Wa'alaikum salam to MR Anonymous..

Masya'Allah. Thanks for your doa.

Before I forget, your wife may wish to try Kak Maya's service....she quite bz so have to make appointments.
Maya Sari (masseuse/physiotherapist)
Contact: 94767836
Rate: $70 per housecall

As for the masjid part, I guess I love going to the masjid since young..Its a hobby. Being in Allah's house, meeting Habaibs and Ulamaks just makes me feel close to Allah ( swt ). Im lucky to get a hubby that shares the same hobby.

Just some advise to encourage your wife :

1. You must first be an example to her. You have to maintain a weekly class that you attend at the mosque or simply attend jemaah prayers when you have the time.

2. Both of you should find a weekly class by an Ustaz that both of you like at our local mosque. Make it a point to attend the kuliah's weekly. Eg Ustaz Ahmad Dahari is really good and funny. So can start by attending his Kuliahs.

3. Make going to the mosque a fun experience.
Your wife dont necessary have to wear baju kurung. Just something decent and tutup aurat will do. Also after the kuliah, maybe you can plan drinking teh-tarik and eating mee goreng with her at the nearby sarabat stall. In that way, going to the mosque for kuliah is almost a date for the both of you. : )

Hope this little input helps. Im sure your wife will one day open her heart and love going to kulias.

Make lots of doas yar. !

Jazakallah Khair.

Anonymous said...

Salam Ummu Habib...

I thank you for your wonderful advise. And thanks for the contact of that masseuse too.