Khushu' and forgiveness

Its time for me to muhasabah once again.

For the last few days, I been thinking a lot abt my prayers. I have started treasuring all prayer times once again since Little habib is able to sleep through now and he is abit more independent.

My solah keeps me sane. Its something that I look forward for whenever I'm down as if its a private moment with my creator.

But... I realised that I haven't been khusyuk in my prayers lately and to offer complete concentration is just so unlikely since my mind strays off during most prayers. Not throughout but at least the first or 2nd rakaat before I realised and then try so hard to concentrate again.

Ive missed doa qunoot for 2 days running.. damn. Qunoot is a good doa. Wasted.

My mind wonders off thinking about little Habib or housework mostly.

Y is it one can pray in concentration when in Allah's house but when if outside of it, one slacks ? I for one am like that.

Allah(s.w.t) is everywhere. Our Prophet Muhammad ( s.a.w ) says '' IHSAN is when you worship Allah ( s.w.t ) as if you are seeing him and if you are not able to do so, then do it believing that he is seeing you.''

Scary thought that Allah is seeing me when Im in a prayer position yet my mind is somewhere else. Maybe I should pray with my eyes close and my forehead frowned like how hubby prays ?

Ustaz Hasan Saifouridzal will read this phrase before every prayer that he leads.

'' Qad afla hal mukminuun. Alladzi nahum fi solatihim khoshiuun ''
Verily the believers who succeed, are those who are absorbed in their prayers'' ( al-mu'minun : 01-02 )
I guess Its good to recite it before I raise my hand to start my prayers just so it can serve as a reminder to me.

I read this small booklet this morning. '' Introduction to Islamic Spirituality'' written by Sheykh Mohd Ibrahim Bin Mohd Kassin.
Most of us know him as Ustaz Ibrahim, principal of Alfathu learning centre. A wise and pious Ustaz who teaches in English as well.

Coincidentally, this small booklet consist of a guide to Ihsan, Iman and Taqwa. I got this free from Wardah Bookstore.

In it , ustaz wrote that Khushu' or absorption can only be achieved by inner-purification where Allah is visualized in your heart through practice of inner realisation.

In the process, one must always remember to seek Allah's forgiveness. The prophet s.a.w says All children of Adam are sinners and the best sinners are those who seek forgiveness.

Innallaha yuhibul tawabiina wa yuhibul mutathohirii na
Allah says: Verily Allah loves those who seek forgiveness and those who love cleanliness ( al-Baqarah : 222 )

yes, I am nothing but a sinner who prays for forgiveness for I do not want to face Allah s.w.t in his court, filled with sins not atone for...
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ohhh...don't we all ? Insyallah...