Alhamdullilah, eventhough I didn't get to attend most of Habib Umar's talks this year and also the one that Shaykh Yahya Rhodus (student of Habib Umar Bin Hafiz) gave, I managed to hear parts of it from Ukhti27's blog.
Masya'allah the heart feels happy to hear the jamming session that SimplyIslam.com organised. Listening to maulid and qashidah gave me some form of calmness during moments of sadness.
Maulid Diba'i Bacaan Sidi Nasir, Syeikh Khalil Moore, Ustaz Mohd Iqbal `AbduLlah, Syeikh Yahya Rhodus dll dengan diiringi oleh kumpulan Hadrah Thariqah Naqsyabandi Singapura.
Shaykh Afeefudin said the other day during Khutbah Jumaat at Masjid Mydin that we should complain to Allah (swt) when we have problems, don't complain to people. This is a good reminder cos truth be told, I always forget that we should turn to GOD when we are faced with problems rather than telling people about it.
Thus, I have started another blog, an anonymous blog to let go whats sadness I have. Its theraphy.
Sounds weird but it will be like writing letters to GOD. Somedays, I am at a point where I just cannot be a Superwoman no matter how badly I want to juggle everything.
Perhaps if I had only 1 child, things would have been better. But I tell myself never to regret and to look at things long term.
Allah will help me....Allah will help me even if no one does.
I woke up earlier for Subuh prayers today, and poured our my sadness to GOD. Before that I read some Quranic verses, selawats and Asma'UlHusna.
While talking to GOD, or rather, conversing, I strangely felt that Allah (swt) was Listening ( Ya Sami') and HE spoke back to me. I'm not sure if I was just imagining, but I heard some good advise to the problems that I was going through.
Amazing isn't it?
Yes, Allah (swt) will NOT leave us when we seek him in our Lives.
I trust that the tests given to me is because Allah (swt) wants to increase my Iman and to see if I have the patience to go through hard times.
Allah (swt) wants to see me put in practise what I have learnt in my religious knowledge class and see if I can maintain being on the right path and follow our Master Nabi Muhammad (saw) teachings.
Our Prophet (saw) when people do bad to him, he returns it with much kindness and love. I must say that this is a very difficult act to follow but as of this moment, I am still trying my best to do that.
People who have Ilmu reacts differently than people who does not have Ilmu. This is a personal reminder to me.
Insya'allah, With Allah(swt) and Rasullulah (saw) with me, I can go through this. I pray for Allah's Hidayah and Taufik.