I begin with - Al fateha

Monday, March 26, 2007

' Feeding Woes ' - continuation

I was at Sri Ayu yesterday with hubby for breakfast when we met A.B and his wife and their 8mths old son. Their son, Lukman is only 5 days older than little Habib but Lukman is bigger, he has 6 teeth growing and he eats well. He loves porridge and still drinks his milk. As i sat there eating my breakfast, I could see how his mother was feeding him and he open up his mouth easily and he drinks from a sippy cup of which little Habib cannot do yet because when little Habib sees a sippy cup, he will bite the opening snout. He does not know that its suppose to be use for drinking.

A feeling of jealousy ( yes, i hate to admit it... ).. came over me until I didnt want to look anymore even though little Lukman is so just so yummy cute.. Me and hubby reminded ourselves that every child is individual and Little Habib will catch up. Whats a mother to feel when she sees her child lacking behind ?

I must continue to have faith in my son. I must have faith that Allah is just testing our iman. I must have faith that I can be a good and supportive mummy. I will not give up on my son, feeding woes are just minor.. I will use all the good people's advises like ummu Nabil's and ummu Muchtaar's and use it to the best of my abilities..insyallah.

May Allah s.w.t help us mummies who have to go through 'feeding woes'.

Below is a comment given to me by Ummu Muchtaar. I have copied and paste it as a post itself as I find that its a good experience written. Her experience is exemplary to many mummies so, its kind of her to share whats its like to have babies or toddlers who have difficulty is feeding well especially when it comes to milk.

'' Well seems that all mothers have to face each phase of a child's life with challenge/s.My son, Mukhtaar, just recently showing his behavioural changes at his dining chair. He refuses to sit on it especially when its milk time. Due to his leanness and low weight despite his activeness, both my husband and myself consulted the KK paed whom referred Mukhtaar to a dietician.

Alhamdulillah, there's a menu and some guides for me to share with you
:1.Encourage family meals
2.Encourage self-feeding
3.Includes variety and texture
4.Supplement with Nutroplex high in lysine and iron

Despite the guides, there's still challenges at the table. I have to trial and error on what exactly my son wants.
Guide 1 is successful. Initially, Mukhtaar was doing well having to feed with spoon during meals. But a couple of weeks ago, he started to keep his food in his mouth,thus decreasing the amount intake. I realized that he wants me to feed as how both my husband and I eat - using hands when we are eating with hands. Alhamdulillah, the food does go in.Family meals indeed is the way and in fact Islam too encourages that.

Guide 2, not yet successful. But we tried to encourage him to hold food in his hands to feel and if he wants, he will put in his mouth. During one of the days that we eat out, Mukhtaar held a french fries and managed to bite it. With praises, he repeated the act, but only for a while (kids attention span is short). There's other opportunities to encourage him. PATIENCE, mummy.

Guide 3 is still on experimentation. So far so good. Initially Mukhtaar didn't want to eat bread (which is in the menu breakfast). Somehow we have to be creative in providing varieties and texture. I toasted the bread and well, bravo he EATS, though little and not the amount stated. A god start, I said to myself.

Guide 4. Supplement may be the way to increase his appetite. Yet to see the effect.

Having to implement that for about 2 weeks, just few days ago, Mukhtaar refuses to drink milk. Is it because of the milk, or the method of feeding?! None of them! Frustrating. I was feeling so down trying to get the milk down his throat and making him sit on his chair. These eyes are swollen due to the 'bad' treatment I did to my son just because he didn't want to drink milk. Just today, I recovered and understand that since there are adults to dislike the taste of milk, so are some babies like Mukhtaar. As a result, I took the initiative to begin all over again, feeding him 2 times a day before the next phase, i.e. to increase the frequency to finally 4 and maybe making the milk of different texture, putting in Nestum of add some flavour, like Milo(what my mum did). I hope that Allah gives me the strength, great patience and understanding to go through this 'Feeding woes'.

Despite some success to make Mukhtaar eats, there's other woes during these times. His attention at the chair his short, so like what was written on one of the comments, we have to entertain our child, distracting him with whatever that we can. When I asked around, there are others who say just make the child run about and feed him as he plays coz he is at the stage of wanting to play, play, play. I disagree despite knowing that he wants to play -

1.The effort of disciplining him at the table will be gone.
2.I have to run around to where he is to feed - messy and no discipline
3. If I were to go ahead with the advice, my son will be complacent and doesn't know when is playtime and when to eat.
4.The child will not appreciate what is togetherness in eating together and tend to be selfish, at a later stage.

Well, well, well. A tall story written indeed. I hope with the experience that I have and still going through, we can be more persevere and firm in overcoming this feeding woes. Each child is unique in many ways, even in feeding patterns. So we have to remind ourselves that our child is indeed and like what my husband always says "You have build the bond with your son, so don't destroy it, just because of the difficulties in feeding?!"


rheA said...

My 1st born used to have very little appetite for food too..hmm dont give up..he'll begin to like some kind of food soon..experiment is the key word!

Ummi's BLOG said...

ok insyallah.. meantime, he is getting thinner.

shukr said...

i have noticed that the more we want our child to eat, the less inclined they are to oblige us!
my youngest only *started* any solids at about ten months and did not eat much until maybe 18 months.
I did not prepare special meals for her, she just ate bits mashed up from my fingers, maybe one mouthful or three per meal to begin with. no pressure.
If you offer a variety of food groups and he takes a little of each of them, insha'Allah he will be getting what he needs.
Cows milk is not really necessary for good health, it is something of a myth actually. breastmilk is fab for our babies until 2 if possible.

unless he is really losing weight, seeming uninterested in moving around etc, really ask Allah to help you relax!

if he is drinking water / breastmilk well, has bright eyes that sparkle, then insha'Allah khair!

wa salaam