AIF ! ...12 Weeks

Alhamdullilah its Friday.

We went for my 12 weeks check up last Wednesday and was greeted warmly by our gynea with her big smile. Alhamdullilah, baby growing well, very active , moving around, waving his/her hands.

Me : Eh DR, its moving so well, can we talk to the baby now ?
DR : No lah, baby cant hear..wait till 5 or 6 months
Me : haha...good lah, means baby didnt hear me crying so far
DR : Why you cry ? Hubby didnt help you huh ?? ( looks at hubby )
Me : No lah, help or no help, I still cry ...cos super emotional lah .....hormones !
DR : LOL !

Anyway, I guess I will start talking to my baby soon, when Ive reach 4 mths..Insya'allah..... Thats when roh nya masuk and his/her destiny, rizk, death is fixed in Loh Mahfudz by Allah Azza Wa Jal. This pregnancy, macam ada malas sikit unlike 1st pregnancy, berkobar kobar bebual ngan baby.

Dr Heng was quietly turning the scan and while we were in awe of this living being inside me. Suddenly all my MS woes just disappear and I felt so much love for this baby. Subahan'allah. I asked DR Heng if she was trying to find the gender of the baby. She laughed and say yarlor but cannot see yet... Next month, we shall check. Somehow, I have a feeling. Lets see if my instinct is right. As for now, Only Allah ( swt ) knows. Yang penting, sihat. ( Insya'allah ).

Either way, boy or girl, both me and hubby have agreed on the name. Finally, It was so easy for us to choose unlike Little Habib's time when in the end, Habib Abbas chose the name cos we just could not agree. He chose my Hubby's choice. Now, I simply love my son's name.

Little Habib is on Holiday with my parents. I pray they have a great time and come home safely. I miss them. Looks like I have the weekend free. We have already made plans to have cilli crab with my In Laws on Saturday night. Hee3 ...me and my mengidams....

Current Weight : 53 Kg ( 12 weeks )
Payment : SGD 680 - Package price incl GST
Medicine : Neurogain Fish Oil, Obimin MultiVits and Calium Tabs.

Current Condition : Migraine, headache still comes everyday after 3pm, appetite very good, very sleepy always, have gotten "simpul biawak" once , had heartburn once, incontinence, no more vomitting.


Innallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

AIF ! ...

Alhamdullilah, its Friday....

Still having MS, although when I want to feel depress over it, and I read the news abt the quake and cyclone orphans who are homeless and hungry, I think to myself, who am I to feel depress over MS when I have a comfortable bed to sleep in at night, abundant food on the table, warm clothes and lovings parents. WHO am I to complain?... yeah... right..... I have no right to complain, I dont want to complain .....I just need un-der-stand-ing.....

Anyway, It really saddens me when I read about these kids in the newspapers.. truly.

Ive been listening to The Glittering Illumination Maulid on CD and track 2 and 3 are on repeat mode cos it really does makes me feel better at least for that short period of time.

Hoping to reach 2nd Trimester soon and hoping the migraines can go away, and hoping Little Habib can eat better , and hoping to continue Quranic recitation lessons ...so many hopes..heh. Insya'allah... Allah ( swt ) knows best.

إِنَّا فَتَحْنَا لَكَ فَتْحًا مُّبِينًا
Surely We have given to you a clear victory (Surah Al Fattah : 1)


لِيَغْفِرَ لَكَ اللَّهُ مَا تَقَدَّمَ مِن ذَنبِكَ وَمَا تَأَخَّرَ وَيُتِمَّ نِعْمَتَهُ عَلَيْكَ وَيَهْدِيَكَ صِرَاطًا مُّسْتَقِيمًا ﴿٢
That Allah may forgive your community their past faults and those to follow and complete His favor to you and keep you on a right way, (Surah Al Fattah : 2)

وَيَنصُرَكَ اللَّهُ نَصْرًا عَزِيزًا
And that Allah might help you with a mighty help. (Surah Al Fattah : 3 )

هُوَ الَّذِي أَنزَلَ السَّكِينَةَ فِي قُلُوبِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ لِيَزْدَادُوا إِيمَانًا مَّعَ إِيمَانِهِمْ وَلِلَّهِ جُنُودُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا
He it is Who sent down tranquillity into the hearts of the believers that they might have more of faith added to their faith-- and Allah's are the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is Knowing, Wise-- (Surah Al Fattah : 4)

لَقَدْ جَاءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَؤُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ
Now hath come unto you an Messenger from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that ye should perish: ardently anxious is he over you: to the Believers is he most kind and merciful.
(Surah At Taubah : 128)

Innallahamâlaikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ.

(Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ‘ala sayyidina Muhammadin wa ‘ala alihi.

AIF ! ... 8Th week

Alhamdullilah its Friday....!!

Feeling thankful.....

Tomorrow night, my Ustaz will be giving syarahan at Bedok Stadium. Please visit our fellow sisters blog, here for details.

Things should get better once the migraine stops....Insya'Allah.

Im still going for my Sunday morning Kulia, now on Bab Faraidh, very interesting, learnt about wasiat, nuzriah , waqaf , hak waris, cpf and insurance etc etc. This Sunday will be our 4th lesson on Faraidh. My dad is attending too and he has lots of questions for my ustaz..hee....! I like seeing my dad at the mosque. I hope it makes him a more alim person. So far, he has always been bz with work.........

Went for my 8th week check up on Wed nite at Dr Heng's clinic. She's great ! She's my favourite gynea and we get along really well. She likes to scold hubby too if I complain about my hubby to her..of cos, jokingly lah.... she tells hubby to let me sleep !!

Baby growing well, Ive been gaining weight, so Dr Heng says she dosent believe me when I tell her my morning sickness is bad.... haha.. yeah, nausea but still can eat mah....

Estimated/Date/Due should be late December, I told Dr Heng not to take leave during that period and she must deliver me like my 1st pregnancy....she says for my sake, she'll go holiday in January then..haha.... so sweet... yelah, kita merancang, tuhan menentukan kan... Allah (swt) is the best of planner....and Allah (swt) yang berkuasa not Dr Heng..still, I hope it will be as easy as my first pregnancy.

From now, I must start to pray for an easy birth and for many other things...also to sing alot of selawat, cos as the baby grows, the brains will form and the baby will hear what I say and hear too... meaning its good to read lots of Quran and selawats and qashidah...

I must start to remember all the surahs which I have to read from the Quran. A must is Surah Lukman and Surah Mariam rite my fellow Ummis..? Anymore, let me know k..... I need to refresh my memory.... cuz Id, I know yr an expert at this..do advise yar..sms ker... thks.

Insya'allah...may things go well and I will serahkan my urusan to Allah (swt) compleately.... Each day, I pray that He protects me, my love ones, my friends and my family. Ameen.

Innallahamâlaikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

Feelings...

Been having terrible migraines that start from 3pm till I sleep at nite....

Been feeling sleepy all the time..... feels guilty to tell them Im sleepy.

Been feeling guilty that I dont have strength to go for ngaji class on tuesdays...

Been spanking my little boy cos he is naughty, cos he dont want to eat , cos he trows things around .... feels guilty too seeing him sad that I spank him.... Do you spank you toddler/s ?

Been observing the both of them... Hubby has been spending more time with our little boy cos I go to bed early. Happy that both of them enjoy their quality time.

Been feeling hungry all the time...

Been feeling sad about the earthquake / cyclone ..... Is the end of the world this near ?

Been praying for Husnul Khotima....

Saturday Morning....

Yesterday, after dinner , I vomitted everything out like a merlion...rice, asam pedas , fish, sayur ketola. Such a waste. Luckily hubby was around and patted my back and put some Vicks on my head before he rushed of to the nearby mosque for Isyak prayers. I was left alone again as Little Habib had to be left behind at mum's place. So sad, He's been sleeping there the whole week cause I really dont have the strenght to look after him and needed to be in bed by 9pm. I feel bad, but the DR had advise me to leave him there till Im more stable.

I drank a mug of milo, prayed, watched abit of tv, and was in Lala land by 9plus. Im really looking forward for the day morning sickness leaves me then I can enjoy the rest of my journey. Insya'allah.

Im progressings in my selawats... took out my old counter and used it, recited alot on Thursday, though yesterday, Friday, the day where Im suppose to makes lots of selawats, my mouth just coudnt open to recite it.... my mouth felt bitter.

Tonight, Ustaz has invited us to his home for maulid and a few Habaibs from Hadramaut attending. Hubby will go insya'allah... but it seems that I will have to stay behind with the little one as Im afraid I need to vomit and will cause a mess. Im sure Mami Bibah, Hidayah and Ustaz wife will look for me. Takpelah... just have to remember that staying at home looking after my son, being patient with morning sickness is a jihad too.

Sunday, no plans, ironing 2 full laudry bags in the morning, maybe go for kuliah, then... I might go watch the movie http://www.ayatayatcintathemovie.com/ if I feel better.

AIF ! ...

Alhamdullilah, its friday....

Morning sickness just makes me feel very emotional. Betul ker there is such thing as " pembawaan budak " ?

Well, My friend Ihsan told me some good news to cheer me up. Masya'allah...I dont want to be naive but when I read what she told me in the email, I wanted to burst out crying. Tears of love for our Rasullulah (saw ).......Yes, the Maulid at Masjid Alkaff last Sat nite was rather special to me too.

Shaykh Zakaria Bagharib lead the maulid Dibaie with our fellow Naqshabandi brothers and sisters. Though I am practicing Tariqat Ba'alawiya, I felt that this maulid was amongst the special ones that Ive been too.
It has purity and strong faith. And what my friend told me only confirmed what I sense. It was really speacial. I cant say it here... Not many people will believe such things anyway.

That night, I was sitting with Ihsan and Ummu Mukhtaar, and Little Habib played with the kids and was entertained by another girl behind me allowing me to listen to the syarahan.

Though Shaykh Afeefudin could not give a talk as he had to rush back to KL, Ustaz Liyakat Ali and Ustaz Iqbal gave very powerful talks on Loving Rasullulah (saw)....




Upon hearing the azan for Isyak prayers, Little Habib sujuds at Masjid Alkaff. Dont ask me why I like to take pictures of him doing Sujud. I just find it touching that a boy of 21 months can perform sujud yet some grown beings dont even bother.


This is Little Habib at Habib Abbas house. We visited Habib at his home last sunday afternoon. It was something unplanned and I was rushing to go there as I just felt that we had to.


At 83, Habib Abbas looked tired and uzur and we didnt really speak much at first. We observed Little Habib playing and we told Habib how naughty our boy is. Habib says its ok, budak budak memang gitu.
*


We asked Habib for some advise on jobs, on amalans. One of the things he was telling us was that in order to live happily suami isteri is to give and take alot, tolak ansur.... no need to talk much... Istigfar banyak banyak. He spoke about other things... about how some women belittle their husbands when they earn more....and how he dont like it when womanfolks see him just to complain about their husbands. Go to the makamah he says...dont go to him.
*


We also discussed some of the remaining Habaibs... the one in Jeddah about 100 yrs plus... Habib Abdul Qadir Alsagoff...masih tak nyayok he says... Read the Quran, he reminded us.
*
I also went to the kitchen to speak to Ummi.... maybe I told her about my condition...she is so sweet, but really, I cant remember what we talk about.....
*
Lastly, We asked Habib for some air doa, one by one, we kneel while he put his palm on our heads and make doa for us before we go. He is a Wali Allah and we pray that he will live long and will be in good health. Ameen.

I love meeting orang orang soleh... I love being in the company of people who dont think of Duniyya so much.. I love being amongst the Aleems. Makes me realised how much I have to do and learn to fit into their world. I love them for the sake of Allah (swt).

Innallahamâlaikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

Time will heal....

I vomitted in the car this morning after a hearty breakfast of bubur kampung and teh tarik at Geylang Market. Luckily, I had a crumpled Old Chang Kee plastic bag with me. If not, the whole car will stink. After hubby drop me at Kembangan Mrt, I vomitted again, near a tree and grass patch. Eyes watery and all, wish I had someone to pat my back for me. Takpelah, be strong, I reminded myself. Who was I kidding.... Hubby can't be with me 24/7 kan.....

Im sorry you have to be reading this. I have to write it down, so that I can remember how this feels. This feeling seems so alienated to me eventhough I did go through it before nearly 2 years ago. Its worse this time, tapi, me tetap redha. Time will pass, days will go by. Its not like Im stuck.

Eventhough, Im feeling zombiefied, my parents are around to take care of Little Habib and hubby has been really patient though he is forcing me to be strong. On nights where its bearable, we still go for kuliah and solat Isyak at the mosque. On nights where I cant take it, I go home early and will be in bed by 9.15pm.

Insya'allah.... Im going through another journey now....Insya'allah.

Alhamdullilah, even with this quesy feeling, I still can walk to work, I still can do laundry and do ironing. I still manage to attend some maulids. Sorry, I felt terrible at Ustaz Salleh's maulid. Too many people, nausea, Little Habib looking for his dad, I shd have just stayed at home.

I loved the maulid I attended at Masjid Alkaff Kampung Melayu last Sat nite. The syarahan on loving Rasullah (saw) was rather interesting too. My good friends sat beside me, making me happy too. Such are the medicine of a zombiefied woman.

Instead of complaining, I have decided to count my selawats. I am aiming a certain number of selawat to be acheived by end of this week. If I can achieve it, I will up the number. Its better for me to do this, since I dont talk much nowadays. The sad part is I dont even like to talk to Little Habib who beginning to be really talkative, but I try to kiss and hug him so he wont feel unloved. I read at another blog, that the blogger aims a few thousand selawat before she reach tanah suci for her Umrah trip. Masya'allah.....

Ummul ‘Ala’ berkata, "Rasulullah s.a.w. mengunjungiku ketika aku sakit, lalu beliau bersabda;"Bergembiralah, hai Ummul ‘Ala, sesungguhnya apabila seorang muslim sakit, Allah akan menghilangkan kesalahan-kesalahannya sebagaimana api menghilangkan karatnya emas dan perak." (H.R. Abu Dawud)

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, "Tidak ada seorang muslim yang ditimpa cubaan/ujian berupa sakit dan sebagainya, melainkan dihapuskan Allah Ta’ala akan dosa-dosanya, seperti pohon kayu menggugurkan daunnya." (H.R. Muslim)

Sakit itu Kafarah. I do know.., I am full of sins. I make sins everyday I think. Alhamdulillah wa as-syukrulillah, I am thankful... May this wash off my sins like the waves wash over writings on the sands.

I'll write about my visit to Habib Abbas house maybe on Friday for AIF. He advised us to Istigfar alot. Maybe he can sense..... that I really need to make lots of Istigfar for all my shortcomings.

Zombiefied..

Alhamdullilah, it was Friday....

Innallàha wa malâikatahû yusallûna 'alan-nabiyy, yâ ayyuhalladhîna âmanû sallû alayhi wa sallimû taslîmâ. (Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.) 33:56

I'll be taking a break from maintaining my blog for a week or two, maybe longer if I cant type sentence from my feelings.... Insya'allah will be back with more entries on my so called "Journey" once I can get the groove back.

Having a perpetual headache, you know..bengal feeling, extremely sleepy always, an uneasy stomach, taste buds seems dull and somehow rather zombiefied.....

See ya when I see ya !!

Do enjoy the hauls/maulid of the coming days, do soak in the blessings, do enjoy the Briyani Dam ( oh no, don't make me crave ! ) and Do remember me in your Doas sisters and brothers !!

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.....
Sollu alan Nabi !

Love,
Ummu Little Habib.